Oproep tot open communicatie

I read the book 'Will the real me please stand up' by John Powell. He writes that everything about which we have no open communication burdens us. You are left with negative feelings and thoughts and physical complaints such as: heart problems, upset stomach, stiff muscles, backache, stress, etc.etc.

So don't make your heart a murder pit and take it out for the sake of your health. We often throw out the good and keep the bad hidden inside us, where it grows and does its destructive work.

Me a man who keeps saying he's so happy, he told me that a little too often, which made me suspect him of reaction formation, or show the opposite of what is there. So I asked him what he thought about his life and he said: "I didn't ask for it".

A typical response indicating that he is not so happy with the gift that life is. He added that after his death he does not want to be born again and will never come back. I think if you are happy and you had a good time in this life then you want to do it again, this was also a signal that the man is not so happy at all.

He also likes to play devil's advocate I noticed and that indicates repressed anger, so again unexpressed emotions, he believes in Ouspensky's view that negative emotions are useless, and something for weak people and that they should be destroyed, instead of thinking that negative emotions are messengers that you can use to track down unmet needs.

The man later said to me, when he felt that I got it, ‘Mijn leven is een groot drama en wat geniet ik daar toch van!’. I thought then: ‘You’re in deep shit, but I love you anyway’, didn't tell him that so as not to rob him of his illusion.

I thought then too: ‘Will the real me please stand up’. He is loved by most people for who he plays and not who he really is and he will feel it, he doesn't dare to show his true being for fear of rejection and condemnation and with that he burdens himself enormously and is tormented and i think also depressed, he always looks so sad and teased.

Out of you is my call to show your real self, because there may be. You can do that. on my codependency network the link is:

http://codependentie-netwerk.ning.com, You can also find the link on my site (to the right)

Be welcome and keep the good in you and throw off the bad. Afzien van expressie leidt tot depressie (and more misery).