Ken je ook mensen die overdreven aardig zijn, echt opvallend. Dat noemen psychologen reactieformatie ofwel in overdreven vorm het tegendeel laten zien van wat er is. Bij overdreven vriendelijkheid is er sprake van verdrongen woede……
Many children from their parents should not be furious, which was rejected, then they were no longer loves us. she even said; "You're naughty" rather than "You're naughty", So they played on the man and that we attract to us very much because we are still fully dependent on our parents
We're angry because we do not focus, erkenning, waardering, love and respect given that we had such a need. We're going to sublimate anger and exhibit passive-aggressive behavior by lying transverse, watching, make sarcastic remarks, humor have at the expense of the other, leedvermaak, To play devil's advocate, offend, denying attention, things to 'forget', the other 'gagging'(the silent treatment), you obnoxious act, you annoy quickly, deliver much criticism, often unnecessarily being late, etc.etc.
We project our repressed anger often on the other, we can then blame. Like we ensure that our other repressed anger plays out for us by making him or her hurt by our behavior and there to have fun and then the other to blame, self-reflection is alien to us, that's scary.
Thich Nhat Hanh schreef het boek 'je Omarm woede', that's good advice. Recognize that your anger is there and see it as a messenger that you bring a valuable message has, namely that you did not get your parents and is now trying to get out of vain. You can book your anger get you where you need also can give to yourself and be loving to yourself, Be a loving mother and father for yourself, who love you unconditionally for who you are and(Nietzsche zei: "Become who you are '). See also my article Become who you are.
Anger is often seen as a negative emotion, and negative emotions are rejected. Osho says that if you do not want to recognize the negative emotions you recognize any emotion. You will be a thinker, a robot…A negative emotion is simply a messenger that you are going to tell you what to change.
Behind anger can sit an unmet need or exceeded your limits by another and so you come to better understand your needs and boundaries
Mencius said he would pay more attention in the next life to its needs rather than desires, a sensible advice
If you never dare to be furious, chances are that you let walk all over you, 're a doormat and too much up and displaces, you will be sad rather than angry and if you really anger inside let you become depressed. It's not supposed to hurt others with your anger, but you may have to send a clear signal. Osho said that grief anger is turned upside, He said that if you make a mad person sad anger is gone and conversely it is reciprocal inhibition
A woman who dared to be said, not angry: "I'd rather not," and did not understand that it is too weak, so that the other person is nothing attracts and rolled over her and dominates. Since the woman may learn that they must bring their own dominance developed in order to live well. Your environment is in fact the mirror of yourself. And dominance was mirrored in this case had repressed women and should bring development
There are those who argue that feelings tell the truth, but I think and feel yet more nuanced about. Feelings can tell the truth but also lie.
Consider feelings of inferiority. If you have those feelings does that also mean that you are inferior? I do not think so. The truth for me is that you are a child of God and are created in His image and that you're spiritually worthy and are valuable.
Onderzocht is dat 75% the 'professional' social workers feel superior and the big question is whether that truth is, they are really superior if they present themselves just as in fear and uncertainty, The arrogance is what lies behind inferiority, that arrogance is an overcompensation of inferiority, to me that was certainly the case. Both arrogance and inferiority are pathologically. If you feel a spiritual dignity you will feel no more and no less than another, you'll feel connected and one which is more in line with truth.
80% of people think that they have an above average intelligence, that says enough! It often leads to authoritarianism and feelings know to have. The less people know, the more they think they know.
Charles L. Whitfield has it in his wonderful book:’Co-dependence, healing the human condition 'the fact that 95%(!) of the people is more or less codependent. Codependent you if you're in a dysfunctional family was raised with little or no love, warmth and nurturing and over (negative) feelings were not spoken and that had to be so displaced. you for your feelings of self-worth than depend on external sources, in others it is more value other than self-esteem and you feel it is not your truth.
Whitfield talks about 12 step program and says that our true Self is fine and healthy, but that we are true Self strayed from us by distorted beliefs, gedachten, feelings and choices. He also speaks of distorted feelings and telling us so lies instead of the truth.
Many people feel that their perception is realitieit, where is, and that is also not true. Goethe saw it well when he said,:"If we have no idea of the whole, We realize is how fragmentary our knowledge and which take up gardening '
Feelings are insofar as real and true that you can feel but the exercise is to ask yourself whether those feelings proclaim a truth and contribute to wake you or keep you asleep..
If you believe in a punishing God, you will feel a sinner and guilty and you feel shame and the big question is whether it is right and truth. I believe in a loving God and feel a lot of love and that to me is completely true and to me and the other only benefit.
Many of us feel that certain emotions are negative as: woede, hate, jaloezie, afgunst, irritation, exasperation,etc. By experiencing them as negative we suppress them often and can even supplant, making us the valuable messages they give completely miss. Behind anger is a need hide where you can be aware, it may be the need for recognition, appreciation that you did not get, so you got angry and then you can learn to ask for the recognition and appreciation rather than angry(manipulatief) to become. When you return to the cause: you unmet need or unresolved past pain can indicate that a place yet and heal and transform, and then you're freed.
I once heard a man say: "I put my anger on the shelf 'This man' laughed 'everything away and complained that he was not understood. He dared not show his authentic feelings and suppressed everything and blamed others that she did not understand him where he did not understand himself, the weather was projected as so often.
As another you angry, can make sad or unhappy then imagine you as a victim and lets you control your feelings by another and you depend on the other person how you feel. The other is just a trigger to your feelings, your unprocessed pain, your needs, your wishes. The challenge is to explore it yet and heal and transform. The other press no longer your 'feel' keys in but you do it yourself and you'll feelings of peace and harmony to know and if you get angry all the time is that anger a tool to show your limits, and anger not the boss of you, but you're in control of your anger. Emerges mastery and I wish everyone though I know it is reserved for the few who are willing to go the way inside.
The great Sufi master Inayat Khan did the same when he said that he really wanted to see, thinking and feeling and thus noticed that he was inauthentic had a false self and really wanted to be. He realized that your thoughts and feelings can be false when a false self(ego) follows and are not the boss himself and authentic, unique, free, conscious, awakens and masterfully.
Codependents often repressed anger in them, who also can turn against themselves by gossip and a relentless inner critic that you say that you are not okay, are not good enough are a failure, etc.etc. The anger is repressed because we were not allowed to express our feelings in the dysfunctional family and the negative not at all on penalty of losing the "love" of our ancestors and that would mean our death, So we swallow everything and we repress our anger.
We're angry because we do not focus, erkenning, waardering, love and respect given that we had such a need. We're going to sublimate anger and exhibit passive-aggressive behavior by lying transverse, watching, make sarcastic remarks, humor have at the expense of the other, leedvermaak, To play devil's advocate, offend, denying attention, things to 'forget', the other 'gagging'(the silent treatment),you obnoxious act, you annoy quickly, deliver much criticism,etc.etc.
We project our repressed anger often on the other, we can then blame. Like we ensure that our other repressed anger plays out for us by making him or her hurt by our behavior and there to have fun and then the other to blame, self-reflection is alien to us, that's scary.
Thich Nhat Hanh schreef het boek 'je Omarm woede', that's good advice. Recognize that your anger is there and see it as a messenger that you bring a valuable message has, namely that you did not get your parents and is now trying to get out of vain. You can book your anger get you where you need also can give to yourself and be loving to yourself, Be a loving mother and father for yourself, who love you unconditionally for who you are and(Nietzsche zei: "Become who you are ').
Jung zei: "Who looks outside dreams and who looks inside awakens'. So look inside and see for yourself first and then see what's going on. Often we do have interest and attention for others but not for ourselves let alone for our inner child. In codependency is known to us inner child as treat our parents have treated us as children, the apple does not fall far from the tree. In my case it was his abandoned, do not get love and attention, not seen and that is true for many of us, I also learned when you have to take it outside, a destroyed, maar dat wist ik toen nog niet. Recognize the anger and transform the challenge into love and compassion for ourselves and our fellow man.
Here are two quotes about anger:
Spot is the rage of petty spirits – Alfred Lord Tennyson
Any anger is a sign of impotence. – Herwig Verleyen
Bron: Boek: "Anger Motivation & codependentie’ van Henny Bos, dat in 2012 of 2013 will appear.
I speak regularly woman, I'll call her Carla, with implosive and repressed anger in them that they can not express themselves and then the there other ways in which they are not aware of is o.a. by continuous transverse lie and be counter-mine and so unconsciously try to make the other person angry about her anger yourself not to feel and to play another one and then the other to blame.
I told her the story of Miss Kleefkens of high school who gave Dutch and said in a Monday morning:"I think you have no sense in Dutch 'No' we said all together. "What do you talking about" she asked. We said 'space' and she started to our surprise talk about space and after half an hour they switched to Dutch and had our interest, well which Kleefkens. Then said Carla "That was not much fun for the kids who did not love space 'and was back transverse. 'Are you angry now?!"She asked expectantly and almost hopeful, I said no, why would I'. Beware that another anger is not going to project on you and let you play through
There are people who make a sport to get you from the blood under the nails of their sarcasm, spot, cynicism, jamming, Playing devil's advocate, etc.etc. all sublimations of repressed anger that they do not want to see themselves and therefore would let you play…
So is the story of Aunt Clara her husband asked what he wanted to eat, he said Doppers, and snapped when she said "But we've already eaten yesterday!'' Then sprouts but "the man said," But you know very well that I do not like, "she snapped back. "Well then do carrots but" the man said what annoyed. 'Are you angry now!"Said the woman felt unerringly. ‘Nee’, the man said. "I think you get angry you look so angry," Clare said. "Yes, if you continue I will be angry," said the man, and when Clara had her goal achieved her anger played by her husband!