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Regrediëren

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Regress means that we return to an earlier developmental stage of our lives and so do the players in the drama triangle constantly.

They are again demanding child(aanklager) or internalized rightly pointing older(aanklager) or internalized caring parent(redder/helper) or the abused child or verontachtzame(slachtoffer).

Jeru Kaball wrote in his Clarity Process all about the fact that we are all still in essence as the 5 year-old child and that our essence has not developed further and is much in it. We often develop just spend our personality without much attention to our essence. Gurdjieff also pointed out already that we work too little to our essence and in many ways with him

We do not listen to the wise and think they know it better. Bruno Groening said: "He who strikes the board pointing in the wind is beyond help '. Such a person hangs or shoots back in earlier stages of development and thus regresses.

When we are offended or unfairly treated triggers often our ancient past hurts and we react based on that old pain rather than to give a response from our adult self.

In the reaction, on the other, there is often question of transfer and displacement. We treat the other innocent as if he is having done to us what, while in just past by another that happened again regress. It is quite common and most of us do not even know the word does not even to my thick Dale!.

We must nurture our inner child, but need not be childish and as a child to react now we are mature. If we respond mature we get this automatically from the drama triangle, because that the adult does not participate.

Americans are either over reenactment again knocking out old unresolved childhood traumas we suppressed. This is done repeatedly until we understand what's going on. Freud had to say about the repetition compulsion and the French: 'The story repeats itself'.

During regression therapy we go back to our youth aware you still be aware of your childhood traumas and process them now and transform.

If we do nothing, we walk away from the old pain of our youth and we displace it to the subconscious which is stronger than the 9x conscious and therefore often determines our behavior with all the unpleasant consequences.

Process and then transforms to play your childhood traumas rather than running them in the drama triangle, switching possibly a counselor, coach or therapist, but do what I can recommend.

Bron: Book The Drama Triangle’ – Henny Bos (verschijnt medio 2013)

Van aanklager/vervolger naar agressor

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If I have to make the core quadrant for the prosecutor / persecutor sees it as follows from:

It can discover errors and deliver critical to his qualities but if you exaggerate than the aggression and it can lead to abuse, The challenge then is to be loving and accepting others, if you magnify your returns, the people pleaser who finds everything good and this is the allergy prosecutor / persecutor because he can not stand.

Codependent behavior where nothing is done to aggravate itself, so the prosecutor can be an aggressor quickly. The prosecutor finds himself right and others not so he can learn those other penalties and a lesson, criminals often think in terms of, I'm fine the other is not okay and I should therefore be abusing or killing.

The aggressor violates the boundaries of the other and does not respect the values ​​of others and calls its own values ​​to the other on.

The aggressor can not express his anger in a constructive way and does his fury on the other often physical violence that he justifies.

The aggressor gives the other always to blame, when he raped a woman then that was her fault because she provoked, she asked for it, he says, and takes his right and justifies his behavior.

The aggressor has no self-reflection and projects its shadow side to the other before he punishes. Rumi zei: "He does not recognize his own faults is his own enemy" and that is the aggressor, which are enmity takes out on his victims.

I am sometimes a prosecutor / persecutor, especially when I play 'now-have-I-you-up thing' again play. But I realize now that I sit in a dramadriehoekrol and then get out again quickly to make it not to physical violence or abuse are. I can think of non-violent communication and see my anger as a signal of unmet needs and my needs to the attention, though I also know that anger is sometimes necessary to give to firm your limits and not to violate.

A friend I met a man I'll call Klaas, He pointed my friend on his mistakes and showed himself a prosecutor / persecutor. He called himself paranormal and thought he was a master who had to tell the others what to think, feeling and doing. Klaas I pointed out that he could learn a lot from my friend about sensitivity, because I missed quite boorish husband at this ungainly, He contemptuously shrugged his nose at my suggestion, he learn from his victim was unthinkable for him. Klaas was the aggressor, my friend, I heard that he was arrested for sexual assault of young girls times his sessions with the girls, He is now a prison from which he might find himself completely unjustified.

We all know football hooligans who denounce the party and then shoot aggression and fight each other with chains and baseball bats to vent their anger, it is fear that these people let guided and complete unconsciousness and stupidity. Leary's Rose gives all clear that by, opposition evokes and provokes together cooperation, you have caused many reactions themselves.

The aggressor is not aware of his aggression, anger and fear, and therefore these issues are the boss over him. You're only in control of the things you know and where you are aware of, have awareness of. You can not have mastery over things that you deny and do not know…..

Rollen in de TA en dramadriehoek

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WHAT WE ROLL PLAY T.O.V. OUR PARTNER?

Uit de Transactionele analyse(TA) kennen we de rollen Ouder, Adult and Child, the rollers in each other are as follows:

 

PARENT: If you behave like your parents / guardians did.

ADULT: If you behave, think and feel in a way that suits the realities of the present and the person you are NOW, in accordance with the possibilities you have NOW. (This has however nothing to do with an adult: a child 6 can also assume the adult role).

KIND: If you behave, thinks and feels like when you were a child.

We usually frequent change of role, but there are also people who mainly play a particular role and / or exclude another role.

If A is in the role of parent and is focused on the child in B, B can not react as adult to adult A, but must itself or as a child or as a parent preparing to meet and to create report.

FIXING AND subversive SIDE OF THE ROLES:

PARENT: FEEDING: worry, be- & encourage, watch out for the other. CRITICAL: prohibit, patronize, areas, check, overstelpen, slash, ignore, smaller, beleren. LIMITS: overschrijd de grenzen van anderen nogal eens

ADULT: POSITIVE: Record information, accept the situation, think logically, plan, realistic in the now, empatisch, loving. NEGATIVE: calculate, uninvolved, detached, void. LIMITS: healthy boundaries that can open and close as needed, flexible en dynamic

KIND: FREE: impulsive, spontaneous, creative, lerende capaciteit. NEGATIVE: claiming, egocentric, childish. OBEY of REBELS: docile / adjusted or oppositional (= As adjusted!).. LIMITS: has its limits not

THE DRAMA TRIANGLE: MAKES & MANIPULATION.

(reactions from the rolls PARENT & KIND. The adult role does not participate here).

PROSECUTOR:

Sees the other as inferior and not okay.

Kleineert de other.

Is accusatory

Reproaches.

Is evil without positive desire for change.

Violating the limits of the other

The prosecution says & thinks & feels example:

“Now I've got you…”

“You're doing it all wrong.

“If you / the world was different…”

“I have warned you….”

“If you do not do what I say….”

“To you I have nothing…”

“You're a bad partner / husband / father….”

“I want to get my gram…”

“You have done me vanalles”

 

REDDER:

Sees the other as inferior and not okay.

Responds by offering help from a superior position.

Sees the other as helpless.

Gives himself the right / duty to help (even without the other person helps itself).

Provides assistance that keeps dependent / make.

Overestimated themselves and underestimated the other.

Violating the limits of the other

 

The Saviour says & thinks & feels example:

“I'm trying to just help”

“Why do not you…”

“What you need to without me…”

“It is in your own interest”

“Let me do it”

 

VICTIM:

Sees himself as inferior and not okay.

Complains without taking responsibility.

Keeps / makes them unnecessarily dependent.

Underestimate themselves and overestimated others.

Let violating its limits

 

Victim says & thinks & feels example:

“I do not know / can it not / do not get it….”

“It is so hard…”

“Poor me…”

“Yes but….”

“Shovel & lettuce & but insults, I deserve it…”

“You know how it all better than I”

“You're always so me on my neck”

“You always nag”

“I can never do it right”

“It's all up to me”

 

Casualties

You feel you are a victim of everything around you. You often speak in terms of 'yes, but', "I happen to be so ',"I am the way it is busy ', "I can do nothing to do ' , ‘het komt door de kredietcrisis/de overheid/de ander’,etc. In short: Victims like to complain and often feel less than others. They also often feel resentful because their adaptive behavior does not produce the result they would like to see, they are self-effacing in hopes be rewarded and that does not work and this leads to resentment and anger

Prosecutors

You fall another happy verbally with words and phrases like; 'You're so forgetful ", 'To you I have nothing', "I annoy me a lot of you ', "You can not even stop that whining" etc. Prosecutors drop others, always know better and often place themselves above others. The prosecutor says the other person what he or she should think, feeling and doing and wants to control the other.

Rescuers / helpers

You help others too numerous and too happy and you take your responsibilities that do not belong to you. You solve problems too happy to colleagues, find it hard to delegate and loves to harmony. Rescuers do not go like conflicts. Rescuers do not understand that if they never learn the other person to take responsibility for their lives, they are taking over the other and it is quite presumptuous and patronizing and arrogant and there lies so inferiority among, the shadow side of the Enneagram type helper is the feeling I'm not worth anything. They think they can derive their value from their helping behavior and try to take it so outside, where it is not to be found.

The trick is to get the subtlety to go see the roles in your work / life. This is only when you look very honestly at yourself and see that every day many times is in the drama triangle.

Here, too, is changed from time to time of roll.

For example:

Victim has at some point had enough of the Saviour or the Prosecutor. Then he / she can stand up and assume the role of prosecutor. The Saviour or prosecutor then takes often the role of victim to: “I'm trying to just help.” (formerly the Savior) of “What have I done so wrong?!” (formerly the Prosecutor).

STEPS HOW WE OUT HERE?

Tips for PROSECUTOR:

Provide and / or ask for feedback and do want to influence a step back rather than the lives of others, command & check. Respect the limits of the other.

Tips for the SAVIOUR:

Help to tune the other by help the others and take responsibility for yourself instead. only for the other. And see that the other self must take its responsibilities and provide assistance only when prompted, and thus violating the borders of other non.

Tips for VICTIM:

Be realistic and responsible for your own life instead. merely pointing to the other. Pay more attention to your limits, Be assertive and respect your limits.

Bron: Espavo – Sylvia Slegers, met heel wat aanvullingen van mij. Dit artikel zal worden opgenomen in de brochure ‘Persoonlijke grenzen en codependentie’ dat in 2012 will appear

 

 

 

 

Drama driehoek

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De dramadriehoek komt veel voor in codependentie en dan spelen we afwisselend de rollen van redder/helper en dan aanklager/vervolger en slachtoffer Ik heb daar zelf ook een ervaring mee opgedaan en lees daarover voor op de volgende geluidsopname van ca. 5 minutes, It is tragicomic

Karpman Drama Triangle (drama triangle,,af,The drama triangle is common in codependency and then we play alternating roles of savior / helper and then prosecutor / persecutor and victim that I also have experience with it and read about it for the next recording of ca,,nl,source,,nl,CD reading about codependency Henny Bos,,nl,savior Archives,,nl)

bron: CD lezing over codependentie Henny Bos