Pay attention to what's wrong
With the best of intentions, we often pay attention to what is wrong in our partner, namely with the intention of correcting that error. It's really counterproductive and causes problems. If you want to change your partner or friend you make an enemy of him or her.
Everything you give attention that grows means that if you pay attention to the mistakes of the other those mistakes will increase. I think it was Cats who said: “If you blame someone, you just put him in!”
The more you comment on the other person, the more he or she will resist!
The Indians recommend us to pay particular attention to the good in the other, an intelligent advice, because if you pay attention to the good, it also grows and increases and that must be at the expense of the bad!
So don't fight the dark, maar het licht aandoen!