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Of the 10 messages we received in our youth were 9 negative and that has an effect on our self-esteem. There are two extreme reactions: inferiority or superiority / arrogance, and they're both pathologically it should be done. Schiller gods:"Your self-esteem which you decide" but many of us have sooner rather than self 'different value'

A good example of "another value" is the story of Inayat Khan in his younger years. A monk said 'murshid' against him and his master means 'self' alley, his ego swelled and when he heard the monk against a bum say murshid and as fast as it had risen thus decreased self-esteem again it was another value.

A friend of mine said very proud that his psychiatrist had said that he was not crazy and that is yet another value. The psychologist,doctor, teacher said that you are good and you'll feel as good but it does not come from inside it has no intrinsic value.

De Sjamaan Tolteek in Don Miguel Ruiz zei:"Barrel nothing personally ' . Stay in a spiritual self-esteem, where you do not but are no less than another, which you feel connected to the whole, the cosmos, met God. Jezus zei:"I and the Father are one" and felt the connection that has to do with self-esteem.

What you say to yourself your self talk 'is very important for your self-esteem. If you feel like you're okay jezelfr, are happy and grateful for everything you're at peace with yourself, in harmony and you will also respect others. I once read that if you respect yourself eliminating the need to change others.

The paradox is that if you find yourself completely accept the biggest changes and transformations occurring there are no blockages and uitverdedigingsmechanismen more. And if you change, you change the world around you it's a miracle that I myself have experienced firsthand!.

Your subconscious is 10x stronger than your conscious. So if you consciously decide to appreciate yourself and choose a healthy self-esteem but your subconscious is programmed differently the festival is canceled. There will be what does the subconscious.

You then sabotaging your own objectives and undermines those without realizing it. You are not 'Clear' as Joe Vitale calls.

We program the subconscious daily by the contacts we put, The images we see on the streets and on TV, the sounds we hear and that can be positive or negative without our being aware of it. Mental hygiene is very important.

There is an old Cherokee story. An Indian demands to the chief: "In me, I have a good wolf and a wolf of evil, welke wolf zal er winnen?"The chief answer:"The wolf that you feed!’.

Low self-esteem is an insult to God, the creator. You say implicitly that God made a mistake in your case.

Emerson said that we are most in need of someone who makes us do what we can. Find a personal coach if it does not sit so well with your self-esteem and it is not someone who is going to tell you what you should think, do and feel because you are dependent and you feel less worthy because you have to be told everything. It will have to be someone who wants to work on an equal basis and as a midwife has the answers out of you and loves you.

If someone gives unsolicited advice he or she puts not only arrogant above you but says also an implication that you are not so good for you that you desperately need his advice.

Learning telling yourself: "I love myself even though I feel not good '. Love is the greatest healing power. Jesus knew all and said that we can do the same as he and even more!.

Research also your beliefs. Een uitspraak is: "Those who say they can and those who say they have both right!"If you think it is impossible to transform blocking you thus your development and will indeed fail.

Many of us fighting with himself, with their sub-personalities and are not very. They fight against the dark and thus give the attention and all you give attention that grows and then there is more misery. You may light to do your awareness and see what. Without you, God, Creation is not complete!

And remember that everyone is always right. If someone says you no good, he or she is watching especially on what is wrong with you and there is always a stick with which to beat because we are simply not perfect now. Such a person is your teacher to come to esteem.

When self-esteem is also the locus of control 'key. If you have you lay blame an external locus of control and responsibility for others, at the government, the world, God, etc. You are then a victim of your circumstances and that is detrimental to your self-esteem.

In control internal locus you previously master of yourself and you have an influence on your circumstances. Investigated is that people with an internal locus of control are more confident, know more success and happiness in their lives.

Somewhere very well and is also a good recipe for a good self-esteem and if you look closely at yourself you will always find something you're good at and that can bring you further develop.

On my toilet hanging my judgment: "The less people know, the more they think they know ', and then you will no longer be open to new information, you do not go to investigate, you show no interest, you are more dead than alive and adheres more to your right you happiness. Moreover, the people you molest your unsolicited advice because you know the fact that 'good'. That's verstroppertje playing for yourself and alienating itself works and if you come to arrogance and never to a healthy spiritual self.

Serenity is a keyword, do not get impressed by praise or blame, but remain firm but flexible. not seek recognition from outside. Lao Tse said 500 BC very nice, he said:"I do not need respect because I respect myself 'and this is a healthy attitude.

During this time, many people are very busy and running from one to another, about it said Lao Tse:Plan to live your whole days full and there is no chance ', still seems quite topical me.

If your self-esteem can be affected by others would you hand over the power over yourself and let you easily manipulate and cows honor and dominate. An aphorism that I encountered it says quite nice:"Some games not even in their own lives the lead!"You're the most important person in your life and that is not self-centered but simply a fact.

If you forget to think of yourself do you no good to yourself and then follow a low self-esteem from continuing. Service is very good as long as it does not compromise yourself but stems from an overflow of your being, from the abundance that you have much to give.

Feelings of guilt are deadly for a good self-esteem. nobody blame yourself not too. Your intentions were good. My experience is that in 99% of cases the intentions of the people are good and I am always confirmed.

If another is mad at you is not your fault, you triggered the anger that was already in the other, and now comes out. The other is responsible for themselves and you can take your own responsibility and co-creator be.

By Wayne Dyer they have previously said that he could not write and speak publicly certainly would not be reserved for him. He retired from nothing in there, and became a well-known speaker and bestselling author.

There are always some people some criticism affect you and you have to 'improve' as needed. Does not allow!. Say it firmly: ‘nee, thank you against "because it undermines your self-esteem when you send out by another.

your intuition, your inner voice(zie m’n artikel daarover) is the source where you can listen in silence and always has the right answers. A true teacher will point to that,, so you will find their own answers and therefore you build your self-esteem precisely. Through meditation you come in contact with your inner voice. Visualizations can also work well.

Tracking your negative thinking and discover that the lies that you tell yourself and then reverse polarity to positive thoughts about yourself and you come to a healthy self-esteem. The same is true for negative feelings. Let feelings are just there or attach a label on it are simply energies. I allow myself quite a time to be angry or sad and not call it negative.

If you like Maslow called it a "deficiency-motivated" person are you always deficit and you look for deficits, how much you're there you do not look at. Then you plenty in the ego is insatiable and we must say e–go!, he can go and then there is naturally an end to the greed which so afflicts us.

If we have a healthy self-esteem then we will not but we give and share and we zijnwe also ready to receive. I hope you received my message that you may find worth something yourself and that transmits and share it with others

 

 

 

Gratis download folder codependentie

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Here is the link to the pdf of the folder about codependency, with a lot of attention to the fact that you are often your own enemy without realizing it.

folder codependentie

Cover book "Other Value, over codependentie’

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Attached the cover of my new book, dat in april a.s. opens at boekenbent.com

Omslag Codepentie

How I found out my codependency?

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In 2007 I took a course from the Civas, namely counseling specialization. It had two lessons about codependency and when I learned those I saw codependency in pretty much everyone around me. I then wrote the book 'Being Mirrored' subtitled 'Your environment is the mirror of yourself' and realized that what I saw around me had been and still was, in a way, my own codependent behavior.. I started reading English books about codependency, in Dutch there was nothing to get about(unimaginable!).

I read over 100 books on codependency and related topics such as PRI and sub-personalities and discovered many shadow sides of myself that I had repressed and projected onto others, now I could take those projections back and acknowledge the shadow, healing and transforming and that is life's work that I do with great pleasure and sometimes some effort, it's very liberating.

I was the first to read 'Codependent no more' by Melody Beattie and read that her therapists had not understood her and that she had become her own therapist and that is how codependency came about, I didn't know that I knew that too and had also become my own therapist, I recognized a lot of what Beattie wrote and felt related and seen.

The more self-knowledge, the more you find out there is much more to discover. I made myself, through study and life experience, a codependency- expert. It is the biggest and most important discovery of my life so far, very liberating and I wish you that too.

Bron: An Introduction to Codependency’ Henny Bos.

 

 

Gevoelens & waarheid

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There are those who argue that feelings tell the truth, but I think and feel yet more nuanced about. Feelings can tell the truth but also lie.

Consider feelings of inferiority. If you have those feelings does that also mean that you are inferior? I do not think so. The truth for me is that you are a child of God and are created in His image and that you're spiritually worthy and are valuable.

Onderzocht is dat 75% the 'professional' social workers feel superior and the big question is whether that truth is, they are really superior if they present themselves just as in fear and uncertainty, The arrogance is what lies behind inferiority, that arrogance is an overcompensation of inferiority, to me that was certainly the case. Both arrogance and inferiority are pathologically. If you feel a spiritual dignity you will feel no more and no less than another, you'll feel connected and one which is more in line with truth.

80% of people think that they have an above average intelligence, that says enough! It often leads to authoritarianism and feelings know to have. The less people know, the more they think they know.

Charles L. Whitfield has it in his wonderful book:’Co-dependence, healing the human condition 'the fact that 95%(!) of the people is more or less codependent. Codependent you if you're in a dysfunctional family was raised with little or no love, warmth and nurturing and over (negative) feelings were not spoken and that had to be so displaced. you for your feelings of self-worth than depend on external sources, in others it is more value other than self-esteem and you feel it is not your truth.

Whitfield talks about 12 step program and says that our true Self is fine and healthy, but that we are true Self strayed from us by distorted beliefs, gedachten, feelings and choices. He also speaks of distorted feelings and telling us so lies instead of the truth.

Many people feel that their perception is realitieit, where is, and that is also not true. Goethe saw it well when he said,:"If we have no idea of ​​the whole, We realize is how fragmentary our knowledge and which take up gardening '

Feelings are insofar as real and true that you can feel but the exercise is to ask yourself whether those feelings proclaim a truth and contribute to wake you or keep you asleep..

If you believe in a punishing God, you will feel a sinner and guilty and you feel shame and the big question is whether it is right and truth. I believe in a loving God and feel a lot of love and that to me is completely true and to me and the other only benefit.

Many of us feel that certain emotions are negative as: woede, hate, jaloezie, afgunst, irritation, exasperation,etc. By experiencing them as negative we suppress them often and can even supplant, making us the valuable messages they give completely miss. Behind anger is a need hide where you can be aware, it may be the need for recognition, appreciation that you did not get, so you got angry and then you can learn to ask for the recognition and appreciation rather than angry(manipulatief) to become. When you return to the cause: you unmet need or unresolved past pain can indicate that a place yet and heal and transform, and then you're freed.

I once heard a man say: "I put my anger on the shelf 'This man' laughed 'everything away and complained that he was not understood. He dared not show his authentic feelings and suppressed everything and blamed others that she did not understand him where he did not understand himself, the weather was projected as so often.

As another you angry, can make sad or unhappy then imagine you as a victim and lets you control your feelings by another and you depend on the other person how you feel. The other is just a trigger to your feelings, your unprocessed pain, your needs, your wishes. The challenge is to explore it yet and heal and transform. The other press no longer your 'feel' keys in but you do it yourself and you'll feelings of peace and harmony to know and if you get angry all the time is that anger a tool to show your limits, and anger not the boss of you, but you're in control of your anger. Emerges mastery and I wish everyone though I know it is reserved for the few who are willing to go the way inside.

The great Sufi master Inayat Khan did the same when he said that he really wanted to see, thinking and feeling and thus noticed that he was inauthentic had a false self and really wanted to be. He realized that your thoughts and feelings can be false when a false self(ego) follows and are not the boss himself and authentic, unique, free, conscious, awakens and masterfully.