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Hoe blind kunnen we zijn?!

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Gibran says:'Why do we pity the blind in eye and not the blind in heart??’

De Bijbel zegt:’We zien wel de splinter in het oog van de ander maar niet de balk in ons eigen oog’. We are blind to that.

We tend not to want to see our own shadow sides and to project it onto the other. Everything that annoys and irritates you in the other are aspects of yourself that you are still blind to, that you don't want to see yet.

The master spoke in general terms of the wretched condition of a disciple, without mentioning his name. When the master had finished speaking, the disciple said::"I'm so glad you're not talking about me, for the man you describe is in serious condition.”. That's how bad we see ourselves.

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Einstein

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From conflict to caring

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I have translated and noted some quotes from this special book by Jordan and Margaret Paul and put my comments in brackets

-Feeling unhappy is always a direct result of unloving behavior(As long as you're not loving, you are estranged from your true self and let you rule by fear)

-namely protective / defensive response: -try to check, -to admit, -being indifferent lowers self-esteem(then you come to a low self-esteem that is so characteristic of codependency)

-The real basis of fear, guilt and shame is a false/false belief(Which was taught to us by our codependent educators, my mother always said:‘What will people say about it’, I suffered a lot from that and a lot of fear,felt guilt and shame)

-People often don't appreciate the truth as a gift of love(The truth will set us free, but will make us furious first and Nietzsche said:’Hoeveel waarheid kan een mens verdragen, how much truth he ventures?!. Freud zei:"Man is better than he knows", but worse than he thinks))

-One of the most common fears in codependent relationships is the fear of being wrong, to be wrong(We want 'good'’ his and again it was Nietzsche who said:'Beware of the 'good guys'’ for it is the most poisonous flies that sting.")