If you get annoyed at others you might repressed shadow side of yourself and against aspects of yourself that you do not want to recognize and thus frustrate you and sabotage, knowing more? Bel: 0314 – 34 38 21 of mail: hennybos@xs4all.nl with your question or request
Codependents often repressed anger in them, who also can turn against themselves by gossip and a relentless inner critic that you say that you are not okay, are not good enough are a failure, etc.etc. The anger is repressed because we were not allowed to express our feelings in the dysfunctional family and the negative not at all on penalty of losing the "love" of our ancestors and that would mean our death, So we swallow everything and we repress our anger.
We're angry because we do not focus, erkenning, waardering, love and respect given that we had such a need. We're going to sublimate anger and exhibit passive-aggressive behavior by lying transverse, watching, make sarcastic remarks, humor have at the expense of the other, leedvermaak, To play devil's advocate, offend, denying attention, things to 'forget', the other 'gagging'(the silent treatment),you obnoxious act, you annoy quickly, deliver much criticism,etc.etc.
We project our repressed anger often on the other, we can then blame. Like we ensure that our other repressed anger plays out for us by making him or her hurt by our behavior and there to have fun and then the other to blame, self-reflection is alien to us, that's scary.
Thich Nhat Hanh schreef het boek 'je Omarm woede', that's good advice. Recognize that your anger is there and see it as a messenger that you bring a valuable message has, namely that you did not get your parents and is now trying to get out of vain. You can book your anger get you where you need also can give to yourself and be loving to yourself, Be a loving mother and father for yourself, who love you unconditionally for who you are and(Nietzsche zei: "Become who you are ').
Jung zei: "Who looks outside dreams and who looks inside awakens'. So look inside and see for yourself first and then see what's going on. Often we do have interest and attention for others but not for ourselves let alone for our inner child. In codependency is known to us inner child as treat our parents have treated us as children, the apple does not fall far from the tree. In my case it was his abandoned, do not get love and attention, not seen and that is true for many of us, I also learned when you have to take it outside, a destroyed, maar dat wist ik toen nog niet. Recognize the anger and transform the challenge into love and compassion for ourselves and our fellow man.
Here are two quotes about anger:
Spot is the rage of petty spirits – Alfred Lord Tennyson
Any anger is a sign of impotence. – Herwig Verleyen
Bron: Boek: "Anger Motivation & codependentie’ van Henny Bos, dat in 2012 of 2013 will appear.
I speak regularly woman, I'll call her Carla, with implosive and repressed anger in them that they can not express themselves and then the there other ways in which they are not aware of is o.a. by continuous transverse lie and be counter-mine and so unconsciously try to make the other person angry about her anger yourself not to feel and to play another one and then the other to blame.
I told her the story of Miss Kleefkens of high school who gave Dutch and said in a Monday morning:"I think you have no sense in Dutch 'No' we said all together. "What do you talking about" she asked. We said 'space' and she started to our surprise talk about space and after half an hour they switched to Dutch and had our interest, well which Kleefkens. Then said Carla "That was not much fun for the kids who did not love space 'and was back transverse. 'Are you angry now?!"She asked expectantly and almost hopeful, I said no, why would I'. Beware that another anger is not going to project on you and let you play through
There are people who make a sport to get you from the blood under the nails of their sarcasm, spot, cynicism, jamming, Playing devil's advocate, etc.etc. all sublimations of repressed anger that they do not want to see themselves and therefore would let you play…
So is the story of Aunt Clara her husband asked what he wanted to eat, he said Doppers, and snapped when she said "But we've already eaten yesterday!'' Then sprouts but "the man said," But you know very well that I do not like, "she snapped back. "Well then do carrots but" the man said what annoyed. 'Are you angry now!"Said the woman felt unerringly. ‘Nee’, the man said. "I think you get angry you look so angry," Clare said. "Yes, if you continue I will be angry," said the man, and when Clara had her goal achieved her anger played by her husband!
Nietzsche zei:’Hoeveel waarheid kan een mens verdragen, how much he dares,,nl,I spoke to my friend Arthur,,nl,who had read my leaflet about codependency and read that you are often your own enemy and are at war with yourself like,,nl,so beautiful says,,nl,Shortly afterwards he was told that he had more understanding for others than for himself and when he heard that he became furious,,nl,he did his best or not,,nl,Then he thought about my leaflet and realized that his anger pointed out that the criticism was true and he did something to understand and accept himself better,,nl,very intelligent of him,,nl,I told a friend of mine that he was in his mind and not with his feeling and that happiness is a feeling,,nl,He got mad at me and wanted me,,nl,do not speak for months,,nl,on,,bg?!’
Ik sprak m’n vriend Arthur, die m’n folder over codependentie had gelezen en las dat je vaak je eigen vijand bent en in oorlog bent met jezelf zoals Peter de Kock zo mooi zegt. Kort daarop werd hem verteld dat hij meer begrip had voor anderen dan voor zichzelf en toen hij dat hoorde werd hij woedend, hij deed toch z’n best of niet dan?. Toen dacht hij aan m’n folder en besefte dat z’n woede erop wees dat de kritiek waarheid was en hij deed er dus wat mee om zichzelf beter te begrijpen en te accepteren, heel intelligent van hem
Ik vertelde een kennis van me dat hij in z’n denken zat en niet bij z’n gevoel was en dat geluk een gevoel is. Hij werd kwaad op me en wilde me 3 maanden niet spreken, na 3 months he called me and was so strong to say that it was true what I had said he could not have and see it at that time alone.,,nl,he had researched it now and had started to feel more and our relationship is now a lot better,,nl,So you often see that the truth will make you free but often makes you angry first,,nl,For example, I was told that I was a work-a-holic and when I heard that I became angry because I was doing my best to do it right.,,nl,I only saw later that it was truth and then did something about it,,nl,I pointed out a woman's tarot cards during a tarot course,,nl,She had a card with a snake on it and I then said that you can interpret the snake in many ways, among other things.,,nl,the cunning,,nl,cunning snake from paradise,,nl, hij had het nu onderzocht en was meer gaan voelen en onze relatie is nu een stuk beter. Zo zie je vaak dat de waarheid je vrij zal maken maar vaak eerst woedend maakt.
Mij werd bijvoorbeeld verteld dat ik een work-a-holic was en toen ik dat hoorde werd ik kwaad omdat ik zo m’n best deed om het goed te doen, ik zag later pas in dat het waarheid was en deed er toen wat aan…
Ik duidde de tarotkaarten van een vrouw tijdens een tarotcursus. Ze had een kaart met een slang erop en ik zei toen dat je de slang op veel manieren kunt duiden o.a.: de listige,sluwe slang uit het paradijs, the innovator because the snake constantly renews its skin,,nl,the medicinal power of the doctor,,nl,esculaap,,ro,but also the poison and I said that I had to think of her there,,nl,poison and anger that she hides behind a grimace,,nl,She reacted very meaningfully by saying,,nl,"Now I am pissed off again,,nl,"Everyone laughed at this reaction to my truth that she did not want to see,,nl,she was angry with me instead of thanking me for the insight,,nl,On the same tarot course I had to indicate the cards of the course leader,,nl,the course leader saw himself as paranormal and self-realized,,nl,I indicated to her that there is more than tarot alone and that the paranormal can stand in the way of self-realization,,nl,because you then think you are already there and already know it,,nl, low to the ground, de geneeskrachtige kracht van de arts, de esculaap, maar ook het gif en ik zei toen dat ik daar bij haar aan moest denken, gif en woede die ze achter een grimas verbergt. Ze reageerde heel veelbetekenend door te zeggen: ‘Nu word ik weer pissig!!!!’ Iedereen moest lachen om deze reactie op m’n waarheid die ze niet wilde zien, ze was boos op me in plaats van me te bedanken voor het inzicht.
Op dezelfde tarotcursus moest ik de kaarten van de cursusleidster duiden, de cursusleidster zag zichzelf als paranormaal en zelfgerealiseerd. Ik duidde haar dat er meer is dan tarot alleen en dat het paranormale juist in de weg kan staan bij zelfrealisatie, omdat je dan denkt dat je er al bent en het al weet. She got angry,,nl,where the students nodded approvingly to my interpretation and saw the truth of it,,nl,she did not want to see it herself and did not see the beam in her own eye,,nl,but only the splinter in the eyes of her clients,,nl,I told a woman that she was stressing too much,,nl,waadoor o.a,,en,stiffened her muscles which she then had to massage by a physiotherapist and that this is only the fight against the symptoms and not the cause,,nl,namely stress,,nl,She became angry and defended that there was too little time and she had to arrange so much and that someone else could not help her and she had to do everything alone,,nl,a big lament,,nl,Tears of anger flowed,,nl,she did not want to see that she is a stress chicken and continues with it,,nl, waar de cursisten instemmend knikten bij m’n duiding en de waarheid ervan inzagen, ze wilde het zelf niet zien en zag niet de balk in haar eigen oog, maar alleen de splinter in het oog van haar cliënten.
Ik vertelde een vrouw dat ze teveel aan het stressen was, waadoor o.a. haar spieren verstijfden die ze dan door een fysiotherapeut moest laten masseren en dat dat alleen maar de bestrijding van de symptomen is en niet van de oorzaak: namelijk stress. Ze werd kwaad en verdedigde zich uit dat er te weinig tijd was en ze zoveel moest regelen en dat een ander haar niet kon helpen en ze alles alleen moest doen, een grote klaagzang. Tranen van woede vloeiden er, ze wou nog niet zien dat ze een stresskip is en gaat ermee door. Even when her physiotherapist said that he was masking, she was rebuilding her stress in the shortest times,,nl,she did not want to see it,,nl,She did not learn and was in the protective,,nl,defensive and defensive attitude,,nl,like many of us and if you are in that position you can not learn,,nl,Do not be open to change and renewal and awareness. Then you only want to hear confirmation and beautiful words,,nl,There is a lot of anger in the world right now,,nl,If that means that there is more and more truth,,nl,then that is reason for a party,,nl,Thank you for your response and let us hope you are right,,nl,To avoid misunderstandings,,nl,anger does not always have to lead to truth,,nl,you can not turn it around,,nl,I learned in high school that a dog is a beast with four legs,,nl, wilde ze het niet zien. Ze leerde niet en zat in de beschermende, afwerende en uitverdedigende houding, zoals zovelen van ons en als je in die houding zit kun je niet leren, sta je niet open voor verandering en vernieuwing en bewustwording.Dan wil je alleen maar bevestiging en mooie woorden horen.
Lao tse zei: "Beautiful words are often not true and true words are often not pretty '.
We've learned to see negative emotions as bad and repel and repress them, so don't pay attention to them, where it is in fact messengers who can help us further. Ouspensky even called negative emotions not only bad but also useless and something for weak people. I am now writing a brochure about negative emotions, it will in 2012 be finished