Ontvankelijkheid, open staan

This article is about the letter O from the HOW formula that stands for Honesty-Openess-Willingness, resp. Honesty-Openness-Willingness. Shakespeare said "the willingness is everything".

We usually still succeed in giving, but receiving is a bit more difficult, this requires a somewhat more vulnerable position, in which we let ourselves be touched and influenced. Receiving in gratitude is exceptional. The saying is for a reason "Gratitude is a flower that thrives in few gardens".

We take many things for granted or for granted that are, in reality, very special and wonderful. Scott Peck zei: "People who don't want to believe in miracles, are a miracle themselves!’

When we watch TV or listen to the radio and someone comes to visit, many just leave the TV or radio on and that jammer ensures that the message of the visitor cannot be heard properly and that we do not really see him, no 100% pay attention to him and he will feel that and the communication will not benefit.

A care provider kept calling during a therapy conversation, computer and even lunch, very rude it gave the client a bad feeling of not being heard and seen and not being taken seriously the therapist received very little of the client's communication and did give advice(-).

Receiving is a feminine principle, in a male-dominated world that is not such a valued principle and that is a shame.

I sometimes notice that when I compliment someone, it is often rejected as irrelevant, or with the suspicion of what do you want from me, the compliment is not really received with a thank you and thus the non-recipient is selling himself short.

Often these types of people sit in a protective and shielding position and then you cannot open up, you are too scared and you cannot learn anything. In fact, if you are not in a learning attitude, you are by definition in a protective and shielding attitude of non-receiving, then hardly anything will enter you and you will close off from good communication..

People often don't say what they got from you, they are not specific about what your behavior and words have done to them or enriched or changed them. For example, they say that what you said was right, but not what it did to them, what the effect of your communication was and that is a shame, try to do that and if the other person only says good, keep asking what was right , think of the LSD formula (Listening-Summarizing-Questioning).

To be open you have to break down the walls around you and provide flexible boundaries, where the good can enter. It requires a vulnerable attitude, but if you dare to be vulnerable, you will only truly be in your strength.

By being receptive you enrich yourself with the insights of others and you ensure dynamism in your life and you ensure growth and development and only then you really live. Anything that doesn't grow is dead.

Bron: Boek ‘Communicatie’ -Henny Bos(book comes mid 2012 uit)