Your inner critic
Most people have subpersonality the inner critic. That critic dominates our inner child and our adult. We then tend to also criticize the other. As we treat ourselves, so we treat others. we flip!.
When I used to come home with all sevens and eights on my report and a fiver, can you guess where my parents started. Indians advised to pay attention to what is good in others, that we Westerners difficulty, we look at what is wrong and missing.
Incidentally, with the best intentions. Behaviorists, however, said all that rewards work better than punishment. And pick on each other and blaming each other and name calling will not work, you may be right, but that does not matter: your behavior leads to separation and quarrels and only cause misery. If you are good in the other mirror and then gives attention will grow and this is at the expense of the poor and evil and good to see so does work.
The inner critic is the internalized voice, the strict and punitive parent and teacher. Of the ten messages we received in our youth, there were nine negative. Moreover, it was played on the man. It was said: 'You are bad', which we were attacked as a person, instead of "You're naughty’ would save on our behavior.
Words of his inner critic:
You're not okay
You are lazy
You're stupid
Do not be stupid
You should not be born
You've done it wrong again
You never do anything right
Etc.
The inner critic loves double bind’ groceries. This implies, you do never good.
If you give attention to knowledge, you're a busybody, if you do not give attention, you're antisocial and selfish. You do it so well never.
It is time that you disidentificeert your inner critic. It is in your subpersonality, you're not, So you think disidentificeer. Let him or her dialogue. Do not accusatory, but lovingly accepting.
Ask where he or she wants to protect, and what good has his or her input. The answers will come naturally my experience. Then you can send your inner critic retired to a desert island, and you are free.
If you are not free to shoot your nagging and accusations in a comment and go on the counterattack, you mirror the attacker, at least if you see him, you react childishly. You can also give response from your heart and ask what else is not like the other, you will not clearance and will listen. Everyone wants to be heard, but almost no one wants to listen
So if you listen you doing the other a favor. Have compassion; if the other person criticizing you, He has that in itself deserves compassion rather than also criticize. Be like Jesus and forgive the critic off you and say with Jesus: "Lord forgive them, for they know not what they do!’. Your inner child is very forgiving, make contact with them!
If you never get criticism, live you may be careful, be withheld, You can give your opinion and you express the risk that that criticism comes, which only sharpens your mind and discernment.
Many people with the best intentions to try to change the other by: vitten, verwijten, convict, criticize, to get angry, to blame, to be jealous, Look convert, humiliate, be suspicious, cats, reprove, fiercely to get out, argue, complain, swearing, vilein be, budapest, wanting to exercise much power and control, intimidate, afbekken, zeuren, indebted, annoy, insinueren, domineren, etc.
They thus reflect the inner critic in the other and ensure that their behavior is also mirrored and the other goes condemn them, etc. And so arises the opposite of what was intended, namelijk: removal and separation instead of moving closer. is an old Dutch proverb: "If you someone criticizes, Jell ge him only in his behavior. The way to make enemies, does not accept the other and trying to change our image. You may even be right, but that does not matter, if it appears that you do not work and even approach to your work.
A restaurateur played well in the behavior of people, to pay particular attention to the negative and erroneous. He named his restaurant six bells and hung out five clocks. Thus attracted many people came to his restaurant to show him his fault. Once they were inside, they loved it so much fun that they were eating, and he caught his customers.
It is remarkable how many words you negative, de (inner) can describe critic, many more words than there are for positive behavior. There has also been studied that much more publications about depression than about happiness, so we are programmed to represent the negative in our. The journal also almost always poured misery and negativity about us. Journalists even argue that only bad news, really news. is so dominant the (inner) critic and the negative.
Negative also lasts longer available 5 make positive comments and 1 negative will linger negative comment. The fact to neutralize a negative comment, is 20 positive messages needed!
During a course in communication, I gave Annemarie said indignantly: "There is an error in the syllabus', waarop ik antwoordde: "That may or may not Annemarie, we agree that we do not make mistakes, Do so and not so successful with a 10, cum laude’. She then looked at me sheepishly. Everyone had to laugh.
If you then I want to know more about your inner critic next to you:
A good therapy Compassion Focused Therapy, one for dummies book gives great insight into your relationship with your inner critic!.
Ook Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is recommended. You can either contact me.(06-10421646). I am a certified ACT therapist / coach and have a lot of experience with Compassion Focused Therapy. Know yourself an inner critic, but is humble and service when I ask, He no longer intrudes on me!. Deliverance is!.