Gevoelens

What strikes me is that many people have trouble naming, feeling and expressing their feelings. I had that myself 1992, the year of my crisis. Until then I used to always say I was fine, fine i said. My fellow patients said:"Well, Henny, you're not here for your sweaty feet, so tell me what's going on how you feel now" I had a lot of trouble with that, because I used to learn at home that you don't hang out the dirty laundry and now I was asked to show it off. Hesitantly I started and through the understanding and encouragement of my fellow patients I got better and better. I mostly felt fear and disappointment and failure. Gradually I learned to acknowledge and feel and express my feelings. Afzien van expressie leidt tot depressie, and I witnessed it up close.

I asked a friend what he felt now. He replied: "Good" I said:"Good is not a feeling but a qualification", what do you feel?’. Then he said evasively:"I feel happy". Ik zei:"That's not a feeling either" He then quickly switched to another subject and I just left it that way, he wasn't ready for his feelings yet.

During an NLP course I learned that it is good to switch between thinking, feeling and doing. If someone is in his mind ask what he feels and does and if someone is a doer ask what he thinks and feels…etc..

Feelings are not taken so seriously in the western world, Ever since Descartes' "I think, therefore I am" we have all been thinking together, at school we learn that, it is spoon-fed and we keep doing it, but happiness is a feeling, so you should pay more attention to your feelings, both the positive and the negative, see them as messengers from which we can learn a lot to come to real life and consciousness.