A valuable insight
In Debbie Ford's book 'The dark side of the light chasers' I found a valuable insight that I want to share with you, namelijk: Everything that you repress and push away from your consciousness(especially the negative things and your shadow sides) call you to your environment, who plays those things out for you.
One woman kept meeting men who were very naughty and silly and she told Debbie who said: “Perhaps you are silly and silly yourself, but you have suppressed and pushed that away and now you call it out in the other person.” The woman got angry, however, after the umpteenth time that a relationship ended badly again, she went to investigate what Debbie had said and what Debbie had said turned out to be true, when she took in the dirty and silly part of herself and became aware of it, she suddenly met better men.
In my own life I have had to deal with scammers and cheaters quite a few times. It wasn't until I came to see that I myself can be and had been a scammer and cheater by defaulting and cheating on taxes and overcharging a customer, etc. and made it my own and accepted it, the scammers stayed away, which is not to say that I will never be scammed again, but the chances are much smaller now because I know the tactics and am aware of them.
The perpetrator knows exactly who a victim is, he senses that and the victim in turn attracts a perpetrator.
When you accept that nothing human is alien to you, you become whole and complete. Jung said: I'd rather be whole than good". That wanting to be good is something of the light chasers who only know the day and don't want to see the night, not wanting to see the shadow side that rules over them as Debbie sees very sharply.
Debbie quotes James Baldwin who said: "You can only face in others what you facing in yourself '. If you have no regard for your own shadow and negative sides you can see them even in the other and you can easily become a victim of what happened to me. It takes one to know one.
Everything that you are not aware of rules over you, you can only have mastery over that which you know and are aware of.