THINK

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THINK is the acronym of is it:

True-Helpful-Interesting-Necessary-Kind

Before you say anything, then think of this!

And listen more often, without pulling a questionable face and without objections and yes-buts

Everyone wants to be heard, but almost no one wants to listen!

For real listening, you are in the here and now without thoughts.

Integrative- and eclectic coaching

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Integrative – and eclectic coaching
This approach is very characteristic of me. Bringing the client to his True self, taking into account his feelings, Emotions, thinking, beliefs, behaviors, experiences, handicaps, faith, spiritualiteit, lerend vermogen, etc.
Eclectic means that I get gold from many psychological and spiritual directions, attuned to the uniqueness of the client. The client learns to achieve spiritual wealth, expansion of consciousness, awareness and Self-knowledge / insight / awareness. The Delphi Oracle said it already: 'Know thyself'
Happiness is a by-product of awareness and Self-knowledge. And cannot be found outside of yourself, het is de weg naar binnen!….

An experience about my eclectic attitude is very funny: I got Jehovah's witnesses at the door, they imagine that they know and have THE Truth. I said to them: "You are like a flower!’. They started to beam at this compliment. Then I said: "I am an eclecticist, you know what that is?’. No they didn't know that, they only know the Bible. I explained that as an eclectic I pick my flowers from Christianity, jodendom, Buddhism, hindoeïsme, taoïsme, jainism, theosophy, psychology and philosophy, etc
Ik zei: "I do that which gives me a very nice bouquet, that is still getting bigger and more beautiful and now you want me to exchange that beautiful bouquet for that one flower of yours?!’
They did not get back from that, that too was not in the Bible, they then dropped off.

Windy Dryden's integrative and eclectic therapy is worth gaining insight.
The following model comes from that book and was translated by Leontine van Mourik

Advisory skills: an integrative framework A model for integrative counseling skills

The initial phase

Objectives
Building a working relationship Clarifying and defining problems Making an assessment Negotiating a contract

Strategies
Exploration / Introduction
Prioritize and focus
Communicate core values

Basic skills
Present
Observing clients Listening Reflective skills Investigative skills Being concrete

The middle phase

Objectives
Review issues again
Maintaining the working relationship Working on the contract

Strategies
Challenge through (giving):
Confrontation Feedback Feedback Guidelines Self-Disclosure Directness

Skills
Luisteren, reflective and investigative skills

The final phase

Objectives
Decisions / decisions regarding. changes Make changes Transfer knowledge End the counseling relationship Strategies
Set goals Plan of action Evaluate activities and support change Closure of treatment
Skills
Listening and challenging




Intuition and imagination

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Intuition and imagination

Observation instead of judgment, is the golden route to intuition and yourSelf as a spiritual being.

As a child we usually have good intuition, we then notice things that our parents do not perceive and then they reject us and as a result we lose our faith in our intuition and that is very unfortunate!.

As a child I had a pure belief in a loving God, sang the song: "On mountains and in valleys yes everywhere God is". And that's how I saw it. But that was dismissed as a fantasy, imagination. The teacher at school did not think I was rational enough and talked to my parents that I was a great person. I then concluded that something was wrong with me, because adults couldn't be wrong and so my thinking was mirrored and activated and I became more and more a thinker and rational. Your environment shapes you as a child.

We are "rationalized" and get into our heads and lose our contact with our feelings, intuition and angels, guides and spirits.

In short, we lose a lot because we look in the wrong mirror. That mirror is deformed and lying. Gurdjieff already pointed out that adults lie.

My mirror was also businesslike and loveless, I never saw my parents cuddle, they didn't do that to me either. The conclusion I drew was that I am not worthy of love, I walked around with that conviction for a long time, until I read Nietzsche when I was 15 who said that belief is the greatest enemy of truth, I read Sarte and Camus about existentialism and Hesse about Abraxas, the God of good and evil and taught to reconcile the devil and God. All mirrors for me! And valuable!
As a child of 4 I will put my long blond curls on a stool in my parents' butcher shop. A customer saw me and said to my mother: "What a nice daughter you have!My mother said in a gruff tone that I was not a daughter but a son. I then felt that I should not be there and became very shy with inferiority complex that I later overcompensated with arrogance. I developed into an enneagram type 3 or the Achiever, successful worker. That type mirrored it to me. I was loved for what I was (for someone else) and not for who I was. I then read that we were not human doings but human beings and that was an eye opener.

We only return to our original pure state when we are mirrored by an awakened one, by a master, we may speak of happiness if we recognize and recognize such a person and learn from it to come to our true selves.

That is the most precious and beautiful gift that we can receive and that also has eternal value!.

Later I came through my relationship with Elly and a holistic therapist, back to my feeling, intuition and imagination now that was reflected by those people. Then you have to deal with synchronicity and serendipity. I came across Einstein's text that said logic takes you from À to B., but that imagination takes you everywhere. And everywhere is God!
So my contact with the clergyman- and spiritual world was restored and strengthened. I retrained into holistic-, spiritual- and existential counselor and coach and almost have 2.000 people can coach by phone in a year and a half, to the great satisfaction and enthusiasm of the callers. Enthusiastically comes from En Teos and means God in you. During conversations my love now becomes, compassie, feeling and knowing clearly and creativity mirrored by the callers, it does me good and I learn a lot from it.

Bron: book The drama of being mirrored, je omgeving is de spiegel van jezelf – Henny Bos appears late 2020 Book published by Bent

Self image

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“Simply suspect that you do not consist of your acquired ideas about yourself – and the inner miracle begins.”
Vernon Howard

Existential Therapy and Coaching

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Existential therapy and coaching:
This therapy was like a homecoming for me. The therapy not stick labels on your, Do not stop in a box, stelt geen diagnoses volgens de DSM Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental disorders, everybody, Getting a diagnosis, is treated according to the DSM in the same way as standard. I have a T-shirt with the text: ‘Don’t let people label you!’
Existential therapy does not do that and see you in the first place as a unique individual. Nietzsche one of my heroes, which I read on my 16th all books, said the belief is the greatest enemy of truth. And was one of the founders of existentialism. Sarte I read on my 16th and was also existentialist. The regular sector is very confident of its own as it is my experience. Onderzocht is dat 75% the professionals themselves superior eight.
In Existential therapy, one finds that there is often alienation from himself, the other, the world and God of the Universe. See further the dimensions of Binswanger!

The existential therapist and I also, will existential guilt, fear and crisis seen as something which tells about the values ​​of the clients, the extent to which they may or may not live up to those values

The existence precedes the essence, the central thesis. And is based on free will, self-determination, and Significance (see my book Meaningful Life!) with a focus on you as a unique person rather than the symptoms.
It assumes that the client potentially can address up and use and looks at the whole person so holistically.

Existential therapy focuses not only on the ground but also on beliefs, gedachten, feelings and perceptions that make up the background of your experiences.

I did very early in my life Existential therapy, without that I knew it was, due before the letter.

Bugental(existentialist) and Osho say that if an emotion displaces the detriment of all emotions. You are one 100% thinker, What is common in the western world.

Existential therapists like to work with the model of the Ludwig Binswanger 4 dimensions:
-1- environment: physical world, surroundings
-2- Mitwelt: social world, Caring
-3- Eigenwelt: psychological, personal world
-4-About world: spiritual world, universe

Existential therapists ensure that there is room for the client his personal thoughts, gevoelens, narrative approach, that these can be described and explained and understood.
Hazrat Inayat Khan zei: ‘Alles begrijpen, does love everything!’

Existential therapy when it is more about "How to Be 'than' what to do '. We are human beings, not human doings I often say. In Mindfulness they ask you to do according to His may go. The relationship coach-client is what heals if they are equivalent and collaborate. The implicit explicit, to investigate. I think it was Socrates who said that an unexamined life is not worth to be lived!

Each perception has a counterpart in the counter-perception. I'm counterpart me aware of my subpersonality example the production stag Gijs Gans, that produces nothing and just lazing. Between these extremes I move in balance. Fear of the death counter perceived fear of life! It's like day and night that make up a day as well as yin and yang.

Fear as a prelude
Who knows the right way to deal with anxiety also achieved the ultimate.

Fear is an essential condition to be authentic to be aware of your individuality.

Fear experiencing learn the counter-perception and that is love.

Fear makes you step out of your comfort zone and driven by the fear you go the transformative process.

It is important to take responsibility for your life as a director and the lead role to play in your own life. And accept the ups and downs and appreciate it as something to hold to, and if that fails to learn. So you're never more victim!