Van aanklager/vervolger naar agressor

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If I have to make the core quadrant for the prosecutor / persecutor sees it as follows from:

It can discover errors and deliver critical to his qualities but if you exaggerate than the aggression and it can lead to abuse, The challenge then is to be loving and accepting others, if you magnify your returns, the people pleaser who finds everything good and this is the allergy prosecutor / persecutor because he can not stand.

Codependent behavior where nothing is done to aggravate itself, so the prosecutor can be an aggressor quickly. The prosecutor finds himself right and others not so he can learn those other penalties and a lesson, criminals often think in terms of, I'm fine the other is not okay and I should therefore be abusing or killing.

The aggressor violates the boundaries of the other and does not respect the values ​​of others and calls its own values ​​to the other on.

The aggressor can not express his anger in a constructive way and does his fury on the other often physical violence that he justifies.

The aggressor gives the other always to blame, when he raped a woman then that was her fault because she provoked, she asked for it, he says, and takes his right and justifies his behavior.

The aggressor has no self-reflection and projects its shadow side to the other before he punishes. Rumi zei: "He does not recognize his own faults is his own enemy" and that is the aggressor, which are enmity takes out on his victims.

I am sometimes a prosecutor / persecutor, especially when I play 'now-have-I-you-up thing' again play. But I realize now that I sit in a dramadriehoekrol and then get out again quickly to make it not to physical violence or abuse are. I can think of non-violent communication and see my anger as a signal of unmet needs and my needs to the attention, though I also know that anger is sometimes necessary to give to firm your limits and not to violate.

A friend I met a man I'll call Klaas, He pointed my friend on his mistakes and showed himself a prosecutor / persecutor. He called himself paranormal and thought he was a master who had to tell the others what to think, feeling and doing. Klaas I pointed out that he could learn a lot from my friend about sensitivity, because I missed quite boorish husband at this ungainly, He contemptuously shrugged his nose at my suggestion, he learn from his victim was unthinkable for him. Klaas was the aggressor, my friend, I heard that he was arrested for sexual assault of young girls times his sessions with the girls, He is now a prison from which he might find himself completely unjustified.

We all know football hooligans who denounce the party and then shoot aggression and fight each other with chains and baseball bats to vent their anger, it is fear that these people let guided and complete unconsciousness and stupidity. Leary's Rose gives all clear that by, opposition evokes and provokes together cooperation, you have caused many reactions themselves.

The aggressor is not aware of his aggression, anger and fear, and therefore these issues are the boss over him. You're only in control of the things you know and where you are aware of, have awareness of. You can not have mastery over things that you deny and do not know…..

Codependency network

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The codependency network now,,nl,you become the 60th member you get free book "Mirrors of the Soul,,nl,of ‘Communicate,,en,van me,,en,The link can be found next door,,nl,Membership is free and provides lots of awareness and growth if you are open to at least,,nl,In all immediately notice the good,,nl,Days accident,,nl 59 membership, word jij het 60ste lid dan ontvang je gratis het boek ‘Spiegels voor de ziel’ of ‘Communicate’ van me

De link vind je hiernaast, het lidmaatschap is gratis en levert veel bewustwording en groei op als je ervoor openstaat tenminste

Waarom ben ik bang om jou te vertellen wie ik ben?

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I now read the 112th book on codependency, te weten:

‘Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?’ van John Powell, a great book again and I come to new insights, it is unbelievable. He writes. "None of us wants a fraudster, swindler or a lie life, none of us wants to be counterfeit, be an imitation or a nepper. But the fear that we experience and the risks that honest self-communication are so intense that we seek refuge in our roles, masks and games and that's a natural behavior for us'.

In short: we want to be honest but do not for fear of rejection, fear of being ridiculed and so we play our roles as codependent. Shakespeare had already discussed the fact that we all play our role on the stage of life and so it is.

The response of the codependent on demand: "Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?’ is: "Because if I tell you who I am, you will not and may reject me and I have everything I '. Lao tse zei: "If you do not take too much of others' opinions, you stay long life of their prisoner ', Lao Tse also knew of codependency.

I'm learning now to read through this at 112th book on codependency and I think I'm the only one in the Netherlands to more than 200 books on codependency and related subjects purchased, an investment of more than 3000 euro!. It's an investment in myself, where you can do your advantage. The Buddha said,: "Happiness comes when your work and words of benefit to yourself and to others," and that is what I experience.

Don Miguel Ruiz zei: "Vat nothing personally '. That's easier said than done. What others say about you is often no clean and clear perception but a positive or negative projection. Een uitspraak is: "Even contain the worst things that people say about you and truth…namely over them!’.

If you decide another mood, you are its slave codpendente and not interdependent master having its own intrinsic spiritual self.

How should I change?

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How should I change?

This question is frequently asked to me by people who have to include with their codependency camps. My answer to this question is very paradoxical fact that you can only change if you first accept yourself completely with all your weak, negative, bad and bad sides.

For the rest of this interesting article see codependency network, You can find the link here right, many read- and learning fun!

Codependency network

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Op dit moment zijn er 49 mensen lid van het codependentie-netwerk, met 50 bereiken we een mijlpaal en ik wil dan ook het 50ste lid m’n boek ‘Communicatie’, dat in juni 2012 verscheen, gratis aanbieden. Hiernaast vind je de link naar het codependentie-netwerk, dat op 30 maart jl. werd opgericht