Many people dare to be happy….
That said, my friend Arthur to me, who has come out of depression and was unhappy because he was not himself, but adapted itself to others, So it was codependent. A therapist asked him:"What would you be without your problems?"Arthur knew no answer and thought at that moment later, he would be nothing without its problems, would disappear, it would be his death, he was so familiar with it, problems had become its identity. Then he saw the ridiculousness of e.e.a. and came to understand.
We cling to the known and trusted, even if that afflicts us. A good example of a child who was taken away by the child with her mother hit her and abused, Child vehemently protested and reached out to the mother. Many of us are like that child and seek the familiar misery again, the tragedy. I think it's one of the reasons for the success of GTST, that's all drama and you think it's not that bad to you if you see that.
My friend Arhur has already reached insight on his 25th that he may be who he is and does not need to cling to problems. A friar of the abbey the Slangenburg said it very nicely on the clinging, he said:"Look Henny people do this' and he clenched his fists daarma he said," but you can not catch, You should do this' and then he took his hands a bowl, a lesson from this man let go and surrender to Your will geshiede, without being fatalistic.
Maybe you know of a survey among the Dutch population to happiness. I believe that 75% said they were happy and I say that they lie, it's the same as if you ask how are you, Most say than good, and lying, and if you then ask how is it real with you, you hear the true story, in the study is not requested and the results are not valid.
I walked with Leon through the city and then he told me:"Look at the people Henny, they have beautiful polished shoes, beautiful clothes and bags full of groceries and you must now look at those faces', there indeed knocked nothing, all unhappy and tormented faces I saw, the misery shone on it.
It takes courage to sensitize your shadow sides so you will master and no power over your exercise, as long as they remain unaware they control you without you know it, you can not have mastery over things you do not know and you are not aware of.
Rumi zei:'' Who in itself no defects discovered is his own enemy "and many others with him said similar things see on my site under the item codependency the topic of your own enemy '
Bron: Boek: "Enriching insights’ – Henny Bos (verschijnt juni 2016 Book published by Bent)
The false and misleading tricks narcissists,nl
As a former codependent I thought especially to the needs of others and narcissists them off because they think only of their own needs, Here are some experiences I had with narcissists, was an American 10 Tips towards dealing with narcissists, The first tip was: ‘No contact!’, the second 'No contact' and it went on until the tenth. Narcissists are so complacent that they all think they know better and therefore will never change and will recognize their flaws.
Almost everyone comes sometimes to a narcissist in his life, but not everyone has realized that it is a narcissist packing them with a charm offensive and then cheats, misleads and deceives. Here are some experiences with narcissists. Narcissists are victims of their illusions o.a their megalomania, a narcissist said he had ended his force to mad cow disease…
Narcissists claim that you said something or done while it is not so, Americans call it gaslighting. They claim you crazy, judgment, onbewust, etc. are and they will be able and will help
In a relationship operates the narcissist you and your trades with ease for a better partner or friend, a follower prefers..
They claim healings and miracles, healings and talk as long and convincing you that you begin to believe it yourself. said a narcissist: "I've never encountered such a gifted person like I am!!’.
They pick you up from the blood under the nails and then they accuse you that you are fierce and angry and you
They project their own shortcomings to you and say that you can not take criticism when they just can not stop themselves.
They undermine your self-confidence by praising one hand and then back to tackle, You blame everything tegeven
They play games with you include the game that Eric Berne in his book "Games People Play" "Look-Once-The-Good-I-Am calls
Everything you say will be used against you against them
They do everything to dominate you and check and call it love
They say that you've become so good with them or heal, they are charlatans
They distrust anyone because they do not trust themselves, they are liars and who think that everybody lies
They do nothing for you and blame you than you do nothing for them!
If you need help they give home or let you wait and pay
A woman called a friend of her narcissist stating that the narcissist in a conversation with her much had loosened and she would like to talk about this, The narcissist then said: "Then you wait three months and then you can pay for my consultation '
I recommended a narcissist to take a session with a numerologist, he came back and had turned the tables he had the numerologist given session and asked for money
They judge you unfairly, say o.a a meat eater can not be balanced when they are vegetarian themselves. Or that you will never be enlightened if you eat sauerkraut, and more of that nonsense
Sokkelen you with false compliments to get you back and then as they try to break down your self-confidence
They try to make you dependent on them to verify your, you must do what they say and have no own opinion
Narcissists make his victims and victims victims
They manipulate your own benefit
They talk behind your back about your appearance, it is slander and libel, a song about the backstabbers that narcissists also
They say they have felt your pain and illness and can be payed what to do
If you do not believe them, are not going to agree and does not follow you stupid and they try to put a heel, a narcissist gave a friend a lose-lose option for taxation
They try windward to stabbing and claim that they are more developed than you are and that they are only light and love, where you are a sinner, it's all lies
They show no interest in you, have no compassion, no empathy and accuse you that you are not interested and they do not idolized
They want to be constantly incensed if you do not participate, they drop you like a rock and try to hurt you and destroy
They say that you can not understand that it goes above your cap, you must first join them in learning, In this way they try to attack your self-esteem
They blame you for everything and know yourself no guilt or shame, it throughout his brutal people
They try to brainwash and everything to point to and say that you need them and can not live without them, they control and dominate and call it love
The narcissist is addicted to drama and often plays the prosecutor or the helper in the drama triangle, he says to know better what is good for you and how he can help you
In dealing with a narcissist undermine your confidence and you become known as a toddler, you merit only thanks to him he claims they
The narcissist meaningful contacts with others are blacken to make you so just depend on them, He causes you to drop friends because he has gedominiseerd your friends, under the pretext that the narcissist knows what is good for you
For the narcissist could apply the following joke: "For you I climb the highest mountains, I walk through the largest deserts and dive into the deepest oceans, Friday I come to you as it does not rain!’
They'd violate your limits and show no resoect, if you object that they exceed they say you should not be so childish doing your limits and be able to counter a 'joke'
They talk to you mouth and behind your back negative comments, they occur to your friends as the jovial, cordial and friendly person
Narcisten zijn slachtoffers die denken dat ze meester zijn…
Narcissists are so dangerous people, they catch you with their charm offensive and then let none of you really, The American has equal the best in dealing with a narcissist: ‘NO CONTACT!!!’
Feel
There are always people(especially the narcissists) who do their best to give your feeling that you feel wrong, dom bent, are cocky, inferior,, etcetera…They themselves are not in their feelings and now need others feel for them. They are also adept to make you angry because they can not handle their own anger and feel and because they displace their anger.
Maya Angelou has a beautiful poem about o.a. To feel that I leave, here in picture
Addictions
I was addicted smoke, work-a-holic, help-a-holic, relatieverslaafd, alcoholics and found that the medications were to feel the pain and not having to flee to remain in illusion and away from my true Self. Behind all these addictions will codependency and through much effort and study, I came to interdependence and become expert Attn. codependentie en interdependentie en counterdependentie, etc.
Through my interdpendentie I have the addictive medications no longer need and desire I no longer to.
Meer weten bel 0314-343821 and read my take on coaching for coaching and check my views about addiction search is loupje right in the orange bar looking for addiction
We wish you success in your actions toward interdependence and self-realization
Also visit the codependency network you can join for free and there is a lot of learning