Droom 16-10-2011

Ik droomde dat ik een personeelschef en z’n assistente vertelde dat ze tot hier keken en hield toen m’n hand op 30 cm afstand van m’n ogen, ik zei dat ze niet zien. Ze begrepen me niet. Ik vertel van Vernon Howard die werd gevraagd wat het verschil was tussen een gewone mens en een verlichte. Vernon zei:’De gewone mens denkt, de verlichte ziet’. De assistente dacht dat ze me begreep en ging met Finland bellen om een reis te boeken. Ik zei toen dat het er niet om ging om andere gebieden te bekijken, maar met andere ogen te kijken en te zien. Ze lachtte wat schaapachtig. Ik had het over ogen van verwondering en dankbaarheid en deed m’n best om de boodschap over te brengen. I said we make an image of the other person and his or her fix it,,nl,we say that we know him or her,,nl,if we can know the infinite,,nl,When I think of this dream I think,,nl,make me no picture and see how many Buddha images are,,nl,is written in the Bible,,nl,"Do not picture me",,nl,We take pictures and keep them fixed,,nl,When I came back told a colleague at my work after my crisis,,nl,"Thus, again, the old Henny ',,nl,he wanted to have me back in the old image,,nl,I said,,nl,’Nee,,en,I'm not old and will also never be,,nl,I'm still new again now ',,nl,My colleague shook his hood in incomprehension,,nl,he understood nothing of mandate,,nl, dat we dan zeggen dat we hem of haar kennen, alsof we het oneindige kunnen kennen!.

Als ik aan deze droom denk denk ik: The Buddha said,:maak van mij geen beeld en kijk eens hoeveel boeddhabeelden er zijn!. Ook in de Bijbel staat:’Maak je van Mij geen beeld’. We maken beelden en houden daaraan vast. Toen ik na m’n crisis weer op m’n werk kwam zei een collega:’Zo Henny alweer de oude’, ook hij wilde me weer in het oude beeld hebben, ik zei:’Nee, ik ben niet meer de oude en wil dat ook nooit meer worden, ik ben nu steeds weer nieuw’. Nietzsche said that people take nothing so much blame than they need to change their perception towards you,,nl,Het lied Amazing grace kent de tekst,,en,’Once I was blind,,en,but now I see’,,en,I know myself that I still do not really see,,nl,I can see a lot more than before,,nl,In the dream I point the other on a 'lack',,nl,something I will not do it fast in everyday life,,nl,Perhaps the dream says that I should do so,,nl,My friend Gerrit Jansen,,nl,The numerologist spoke of "appropriate arrogance,,nl,who would do me good,,nl,In the dream, I say good things,,nl,which are true,,nl,I only encounter incomprehension,,nl,especially the assistant who will immediately think what they should do instead of being,,nl.

Het lied Amazing grace kent de tekst:’Once I was blind, but now I see’. Ik weet van mezelf dat ik ook nog niet echt zie, ik zie al wel veel meer dan vroeger. In de droom wijs ik de ander op een ‘gebrek’, iets dat ik in het dagelijkse leven niet snel zal doen. Misschien zegt de droom wel dat ik dat wel moet doen. M’n vriend Gerrit Jansen, de numeroloog had het over ‘gepaste arrogantie’ die me wel goed zou doen. In de droom zeg ik goede dingen, die waar zijn, alleen stuit ik op onbegrip, vooral de assistente die meteen gaat denken dat ze wat moet doen in plaats van te zijn. The penny may drop later I have thinking,,nl,One of the rare occasions when I do the other a "lack,,nl,was with a colleague who said he was a psychologist in treatment,,nl,I told him that he had much more feeling in them than he allowed,,nl,that he was dominated by his thinking,,nl,that happiness is a feeling,,nl,he did not understand me,,nl,A year later, I come back to these gentlemen and he repeated my words a year ago and said,,,nl,"The penny has now fallen,,nl,you were right',,nl,He was so grateful for my attention and the dream can remind me that I need to do this so often despite misunderstandings that may have first,,nl.

you tube filmpjes en dvd codependentie

Vandaag zijn de opnamen gemaakt voor 6 you tube filmpjes over codependentie, door Clemens van der Horst, hij gaat nu monteren en in november zal e.e.a. klaar zijn. Zie voor nadere informatie onder de kop codependentie bij dvd

From conflict to caring

I have translated and noted some quotes from this special book by Jordan and Margaret Paul and put my comments in brackets

-Feeling unhappy is always a direct result of unloving behavior(As long as you're not loving, you are estranged from your true self and let you rule by fear)

-namely protective / defensive response: -try to check, -to admit, -being indifferent lowers self-esteem(then you come to a low self-esteem that is so characteristic of codependency)

-The real basis of fear, guilt and shame is a false/false belief(Which was taught to us by our codependent educators, my mother always said:‘What will people say about it’, I suffered a lot from that and a lot of fear,felt guilt and shame)

-People often don't appreciate the truth as a gift of love(The truth will set us free, but will make us furious first and Nietzsche said:’Hoeveel waarheid kan een mens verdragen, how much truth he ventures?!. Freud zei:"Man is better than he knows", but worse than he thinks))

-One of the most common fears in codependent relationships is the fear of being wrong, to be wrong(We want 'good'’ his and again it was Nietzsche who said:'Beware of the 'good guys'’ for it is the most poisonous flies that sting.")

Codependentie versus leren

In a codependent family you learn to protect yourself and protect against negativity coming your way, at that time is also necessary, but later works against you, because as long as you are you can not learn in the protective shielding and attitude and everything remains the same and you're afraid of the unknown, where only the known you can scare.

In fact, when you are not in a learning attitude you by definition is in a protective and defensive attitude, as many mensen.Meer is about to read the books of Jordan & Margaret Paul, which are particularly interesting and enlightening.

Het boek ‘Do I have to give up me, to be loved by you "of Paul's was one of the best books I've ever read Attn. codependentie

Lecture codependency 13-10-2011(report)

He had 18 people came to the lecture, and many did not recognize many of the questions asked Henny, te weten:-you are always ready for another?, -dare you say no?, -lets you violate your limits?, -you want to control?, -you have low self-esteem?-your needs are not as important as that of another?, -You grew up in a family with little or no attention, erkenning, waardering, nurturing, warmth and love?, -You accept things that are not really acceptable?.

It was said under the headline: "This irritates me in other people 'write down everything bothers you. When the people were finished Henny said:"Streep now heading through and put down:"These are aspects of me that I do not want to see ', it was an eye-opener.

Els was so sweet and caring to arrange tea and coffee and it took two leaflets, also one for her sister. Everyone got an information leaflet and brochure:"An introduction to codependency".

It was all in all a successful evening