For many people do criticize pain, it hurts their egos, because your true Self is not hurt because nothing human is alien to him, therefore, the negative not. So if you feel hurt after criticism than sure that you are not free but victim is in your ego.
What is that ego, when you are in your ego. A man asked a master what is egotism?. De meester zei: "You're an idiot and foolish to ask that, you understand about anything!’. The man was very angry and wanted to hit the master. "It is now egotism" replied the master.
Following the aphorisms that someone can not do as they say they can not stand criticism, a funny story. A woman had always disagreed with her husband and had always criticized, they decide to go to a therapist and the man explains that his wife has always criticized and never agree is, when the therapist asked the woman for her opinion, she said: "I do not agree!’
As long as you do not Hitler does not recognize in yourself you are very critical and does still hurt. Then put the devil and the negative even beyond your and reconcile God and the devil.
Don Miguel Ruiz, the Toltec said: "Barrel nothing personally!’, but you can also go see the criticism as a form of free advice and takes the edge off and painful aspects of it, then you do take advantage of criticism and learn them.
Your enemies point on your weakest areas, so you can know them and it is only right, So you can thank your enemy and love as the Bible rightly says.
As long as you're hurting, are you still a victim, lets you control your feelings by another and your impressions sensitive buttons by the critic, The pain we feel is often triggered, ongeheelde, supplanted old pain.
If you become angry because of criticism hits you in the defense of old pain that calls Ingeborg Bosch 'False power'. See my article on PRI(Past Realiity Integration and the inner child).
If you are sad because criticism is often the defense of old pain Primary immune from the PRI.
All defenses instead of accepting the criticism often says something about ourselves. I pointed a friend that he was quite in his head and that happiness is a feeling, so he may not be happy. He became furious(Valse power!) and did not speak to me for three months. After three months he was fortunately so brave to call me and tell me that I was right but that he did not handle truth, would not accept.
Name a common man mean and he will response to your critique you right immediately show. Name a realized human being mean and he will smile and say that indeed he sometimes can be mean but that is not usually, is usually friendly…
In response to criticism saying you think it is not true and that you are better than they claim. Freud zei: "We are better than we know, but worse than we thought "Do not believe everything you think.
Your feelings are determined in large part by erroneous thoughts and so listen to the Buddha who said: "Do right", so you have the thesis that negative thinking , the antithesis that positive thinking and the synthesis and that is correct thinking.
If criticism hurts and you have resistance, sitting there in just what else would you do anything. Lao tse zei : True words are often not pretty '.
Nobody can do mental pain or hurt if you do not allow yourself and realize that you are everything, are complete, both light and dark, you have the whole spectrum.
As long as your criticism hurts and hurts you is in a false, false self, an illusion, that ego is called.
Ask yourself what is the worst that they can say and then research or sometimes a repressed part of yourself, a shadow portion, which then may be placed into the light.
Aristotle said it very beautiful that you can avoid all criticism by doing nothing, to say nothing and be nothing;
I know a man that any criticism prejudice as a projection of the other and therefore ignores its own negative side, its shadow, he assumes that the other projecting on him. He displaces his negative side and so then prevails over him because the unconscious is 10x stronger than the conscious. It is fear which let him govern, fear to face his own dark side, anything you're not aware of dominion over you, why he reacts so strongly to criticism.
A narcissist called criticism arrogant shit of the other who that person himself but had to step down. A narcissist finds himself perfectly and grandiose, is wrong according to him, so nothing to him and the narcissist misses a chance to raise awareness, his fierce response to criticism indicates that it still hurts him..
You also have people who are quite upset by the criticism of others because it affects their idealized self-image. Lao Tse said if you care too much what someone else says about your life long are their prisoner
However, you can feel connected to who will recognize and other things. What is most personal is often the most universal. We are all created in God's image and therefore of the same kind, with more similarities than differences, it just depends on where you watch.
A talented friend of mine once said that everyone is always right and there's a lot in, namely, we do see the speck in the eye of the other…But if 1 person you call, you do there still nothing of pulling a horse like 2 person ones that do not just like 20 entities who do buy but hay and a saddle…
I always defended out at criticism, it was a form of self-justification and that is the truth in the way. I said, 'Yes, but' and then came with my objections why the criticism was unjustified, I did not realize that I could join my advantage if I could examine critically and be more aware…
Self-criticism can hurt, then we have a prosecutor, an inner critic in us that says we are not okay, not good enough, are stupid, being bad, etc…It's what PRI Primary defense calls a defense of old pain, were in our youth 9 of the 10 messages that we were negative and that we have internalized and repressed and unconsciously we drag with us and can be triggered by criticism…
There would be much less conflict and war as we took criticism seriously and would do what it takes to become aware instead of getting angry or sad. We want idealized self-image, that illusion at all costs maintain the detriment of our true Self and thus love, consciousness, peace and harmony, sereniteit, etc.
About serenity spoken. Cassiel is the angel of serenity and we may ask not to get more upset by criticism, by praise or blame, but that we have a healthy self-esteem with the embrace of our shadow side and that of the other
If you like the Sufi master Inayat Khan understands the criticism really you arrive at the wise words said: ‘Alles begrijpen, does love everything!’.
Most people shoot in a reaction when they get to give criticism instead of response from an understanding and loving heart. One who criticized, often also highly critical of herself and compassion is a response instead of a fierce reaction of anger and counterattack or sadness with which we try to manipulate others…
Khurshed Btliwalo Zee:
We are made by love
We are made of love
and we are made for love
And love is forgiving and understanding and does not blame if he criticizes another, but thanked him for that and share and give his love to the critic…
Kids bounce back immediately criticized by saying: "What you say is you!’. This is also known as, but if they miss a chance at self-knowledge and awareness and self-understanding and self-awareness, but yes there are also more children…
I often said in response to criticism: "What Peter says about Paul says more about Peter than about Paul ', this is also true but as I fended, just as a child, valuable information on and nothing it did not come to awareness and self-knowledge…
And if, After reading all this,, criticism still hurts, Go pain than to and learn from it and transform it. Amerikanen zeggen: ‘No pain, no gain!’. By avoiding the pijjn beach on one of the banks which Nisargadatta speaks and creates misery;
Between the banks of pain and pleasure,
the river flows.
Only when thinking and feeling
beaches on one of the banks
and not going with the flow,
creates misery
Nisargadatta
I am reminded of the remark that has never been a statue for a critic as a critic creates nothing, only commented and think you know yourself better..
If you many critics have in your environment is likely that you (onbewust) much criticism have on yourself and your environment reflects your, because I learned and know that the environment is the mirror of yourself.
With humor respond to criticism is fun. I said once again against a friend who is gay: 'If you complain that you're a pathetic', He then said with humor: "I and no pathetic , but a leg with a soul!’, I found it very witty.
Applying spiritual judo at criticism is ontwapendend. So when the other pushes his criticism not push back but come pull the other off balance. A woman called dumb blonde and moved along with the critic and she said: "It's much worse, I'm too dumb to dance for the devil, I do not care about anything, not even what you say now you want to explain '. The critic fell completely silent…
At a low self-esteem makes you much determine your thoughts and feelings with another and your self-esteem a yo-yo. When a compliment is increasing your self-esteem and negative criticism decreases your self-worth again, there is serenity needed and you may Cassiel, Angel Serenity invite into your life..
If you never get your criticism does not really alive and keep your back too much and you do not say what you think and feel, then you're more of a zombie, living dead. Then be happy when there is a critical time comes it is a proof that you dare to show yourself!
Fearing criticism dare not many of us to ask for feedback, Feedback is just a great way to adjust our course and to correct ourselves and our thinking to tighten and feel perfect
You may realize that the person who gives you criticism does on the basis of the image he has of you and you do not have that image. The Bible said it all: "Make me no picture ', We do not otherwise. That image will usually be biased because most people do not perceive pure but his neurotic. So their criticism relates only to their image and do nothing with you to have, investigation that. If you can look at so critical you can laugh and use only that the krtitiek you can help..
Criticism is an expression of commitment and care, as in the book "Caring enough to confront" state. If the other make has to deal with in a conflict he will give you even from that criticism, so you can see it…
You also have people who are hard to deny that criticism hurts them, while it is so, they displace it or have a plate upside down and pull out about anything and be antisocial
You may wonder when you receive criticism if it is meant to help you or to get you down and hurt, then you know enough, Go assured, however, that most people have good intentions and do things they think and feel that it is good for them.
How no direct criticism can hurt when you have heard through the grapevine that there criticizing you came. The people who do that are the sly, conniving people who are so clever that they never criticize you and your co-adhesives, but behind your back besmirch and negatively depicting, it is the backstabbers, They smile in your face you say the song…Beware of this artful and cunning serpents, they can not be trusted
These are the people who tell you gossip about others with negative information, beware, They will also talk about you to others and not exactly in a positive way…that can hurt
My credo is that every meeting and can take any situation and can learn if that does not succeed it and then you are always winners and never victims
Many criticisms truth and the Bible says: "The truth will make you free ', I add then that the truth will make you often first very angry because you want to recognize it and accept. Nietzsche zei: ‘Hoeveel waarheid kan een mens verdragen, how much truth he ventures!’
In a shop I saw the text: "Do you have criticisms, tell us, are you satisfied tell others', I found that very wise. Often a client does not criticize, but he just runs away to the competitor and that goes for friends and acquaintances. I gave one more time criticizing the food in a lunchroom and the woman defended just how good their food was and did nothing about learning, that is not a learning organization but a chilly, rigid, arid organization, I will never again
Brené Brown writes in her book 'Rising strong': There is no greater threat to the critics, cynics and fearmongers than those of us who are willing to fall, because we have learned how to rise’
That's great that you are showing resilience and always rebounds after criticism and are not afraid to attack and failure because you know you can get up and recover.
Brown also writes that opt for authenticity and dignity and you rid of resistance and opposition there is a revolution. That's right, most adapt to the masses. The individual is always real: Jesus, Buddha, Lao tse, Osho, Krishnamurti, Nisargadatta, etc. who dare to go their own way and are not afraid of criticism, there always comes for the great minds always encountered much criticism from mediocre minds who want to get the big ones to their mediocre low level.
Brown writes: If you choose a life of love with all your heart is an act of rebellion, you will make many people angry, confuse and scare incl. yourself'. People zijj indeed afraid of love as demonstrated by the following dialogue:
Learner: What is love?
Meester: That which drives out all fear!’
Leering: "What we are most afraid of?’
Meester: 'For the love!’
For fear of possible criticism suit many people but on the gray mediocrity and die with their music still in them, they never used their potential and hung on 5 until 10% exploit their potential, she wondered whether there is life after death and did not even live for death.
Vernon Howard zei: "There is a new fascinating life, but the old life shows not even the interest to investigate even!!"Does not stick too much value avn eventiuele the criticism coming from the gray mice, they are ignorant and unconscious thinking and know to have. The less people know, the more they think they know, their perception is distorted not pure
Very disguised criticism is the unsolicited advice, this is because it is assumed that your not going well, that you yourself are not able to take care of yourself, they bring it under the guise of love but it is preparing itself superior to you and pushing you down subtly, 'm not, and let your unconscious do not hurt, These are the meanest critics who pretend to be the good guys. Nietzsche said very nice: "Beware of the 'good guys' because they are the most poisonous flies that stabbing!!’
Bron: Boek: enriching Insights – Henny Bos (verschijnt juni 2016 Book published by Bent)
