A valuable insight

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In Debbie Ford's book 'The dark side of the light chasers' I found a valuable insight that I want to share with you, namelijk: Everything that you repress and push away from your consciousness(especially the negative things and your shadow sides) call you to your environment, who plays those things out for you.

One woman kept meeting men who were very naughty and silly and she told Debbie who said: “Perhaps you are silly and silly yourself, but you have suppressed and pushed that away and now you call it out in the other person.” The woman got angry, however, after the umpteenth time that a relationship ended badly again, she went to investigate what Debbie had said and what Debbie had said turned out to be true, when she took in the dirty and silly part of herself and became aware of it, she suddenly met better men.

In my own life I have had to deal with scammers and cheaters quite a few times. It wasn't until I came to see that I myself can be and had been a scammer and cheater by defaulting and cheating on taxes and overcharging a customer, etc. and made it my own and accepted it, the scammers stayed away, which is not to say that I will never be scammed again, but the chances are much smaller now because I know the tactics and am aware of them.

The perpetrator knows exactly who a victim is, he senses that and the victim in turn attracts a perpetrator.

When you accept that nothing human is alien to you, you become whole and complete. Jung said: I'd rather be whole than good". That wanting to be good is something of the light chasers who only know the day and don't want to see the night, not wanting to see the shadow side that rules over them as Debbie sees very sharply.

Debbie quotes James Baldwin who said: "You can only face in others what you facing in yourself '. If you have no regard for your own shadow and negative sides you can see them even in the other and you can easily become a victim of what happened to me. It takes one to know one.

Everything that you are not aware of rules over you, you can only have mastery over that which you know and are aware of.

Grenzen stellen

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If you decide to withdraw from the drama triangle you're going to ask you some personal boundaries and no longer accept the unacceptable. Healthy people will thus compliment you, but the participants in the drama triangle you'll encounter a lot of resistance, they will react negatively because they profited so fine you, they will feel attacked them and say : "What have I done wrong?'Or' You are so changed I do not know you back "or do pathetic and work on your mind to make you change your mind or they will go on the attack.

Do not be fooled and respect and guard your limits, they guarantee your freedom and well-being.

Nietzsche zei: "Nothing is taken you so much blame than the people need to change their perception towards you!’….

Many people will not be happy with the change, and you try to manipulate to make hey limits again fall. Your limits are there for your own health and safety and thus of great importance!

The prosecution often too high and impenetrable borders and beyond and violates the borders of others. The rescuer is often related to low limits and is easy to manipulate and control the victim. The victim does not even have a clue of borders and therefore is not to stop and let them therefore violate and violating them.

If we get in contact with other thoughts and feelings in the sense of: fault, shame, angst, pijn, fatigue, inferiority, smallness, etc, where we do not normally have these feelings, we can assume dart the other beyond our borders and violating and wants to draw us into the drama triangle, therefore wants to get down to his level, consciously or unconsciously, it does not matter.

Do not let it not shoot in the reaction but give a response of a peaceful, assertive heart. Never accept the unacceptable and point to the other on its responsibilities and present them accountable for their actions and words.

If you're dealing with a drama triangle player is you can be sure that he does not respect your boundaries and try to violate, so be wary and alert in this case and will not comment on allegations and accusations of the Prosecutor, pedantic behavior of the savior and complaining and doing pathetic victim.

Stand firm in your own essence and apply mental hygiene to. Dare to say no without feeling guilty and only "The Broken Record 'method to, repeat your statement without letting tempt statements or accountability, where else can capitalize on to get you to get.

Bron: Book The Drama Triangle’ Henny Bos (May 2013)

Interesse

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I spoke with my good friend Peter Jan and he told me,,nl,"Interest that inter and esse or between and,,nl,between knowing and not knowing ',,nl,I find that very beautiful,,nl,The players of the drama triangle have no real interest in each other and to learn,,nl,because they think they already know to have,,nl,"There is a new life, but the old life shows still no interest to investigate ',,nl,There is a winner triangle,,nl,but the drama triangle players are caught up in their drama,,nl,where they are so accustomed and attached that they do not want to let go,,nl,It reminds me of the prisoners in the Bastille in France during the French Revolution,,nl: ‘Interesse dat is inter en esse ofwel tussen en zijn, tussen weten en niet-weten’, Ik vind dat heel mooi

De spelers van de dramadriehoek hebben geen echte interesse voor elkaar en om meer te weten te komen, want ze denken het weten al te hebben.

Vernon Howard zei: ‘Er is een nieuw leven maar het oude leven toont zelfs nog niet eens de interesse om het te onderzoeken’.

Er is een winnaarsdriehoek(See article) maar de dramadriehoekspelers zitten gevangen in hun drama, waar ze zo aan gewend en gehecht zijn dat ze het niet los willen laten. Het doet me denken aan de gevangenen in de Bastille in Frankrijk tijdens de Franse revolutie, which prisoners were already there in chains in the dark decades and were freed by the revolutionaries,,nl,but the prisoners were not pleased,,nl,they could not get used to the light and not sleep without their chains,,nl,so it is with the drama triangle players,,af,Several victims told me,,nl,"From you I can still learn a lot,,nl,I'll quickly touch ',,nl,I never heard some of them,,nl,they do not say what they mean and do not mean what they say,,nl,Victims make promises they do not fulfill,,nl,To me that is an advantage because I'm not drawn into the reddersrol by manipulating victims,,nl,showing no interest in truly authentic life,,nl,I invited real saviors out for a talk about the drama triangle,,nl, maar de gevangenen waren helemaal niet blij, ze konden niet wennen aan het licht en niet slapen zonder hun ketenen, zo is het ook met de dramadriehoekspelers.

Diverse slachtoffers zeiden tegen me:’Van jou kan ik nog veel leren, ik neem snel contact op’. Ik hoorde nooit meer wat van ze, ze zeggen niet wat ze menen en menen niet wat ze zeggen. Slachtoffers doen beloftes die ze niet nakomen. Voor mij is dat een voordeel want zo word ik niet meer in de reddersrol getrokken door de manipulerende slachtoffers, die geen enkele interesse in echt authentiek leven tonen.

Ik nodigde echte redders uit voor een gespreksgroep over de dramadriehoek, where they can learn from,,nl,but they showed no interest and asked me not even where the talk was about,,nl,they said no to something they did not even know whether it could provide them benefit,,nl,they were busy,,nl,If I had been a victim stood ready immediately to help me,,nl,Prosecutors are to transmit and teach the other a lesson and show not take any interest in also encourage teach and what to teach,,nl,also think they know already have,,nl,My decision depends on my toilet,,nl,the more they think they know,,nl,"So they show no interest anymore because after all they already know,,nl,As yet who quotes on interest,,af,There are no uninteresting things only uninterested people - Chesterton,,nl, maar ze toonden geen enkele interesse en vroegen mij zelfs niet eens waar de gespreksgroep over ging, ze zeiden nee tegen iets waarvan ze niet eens wisten of het hen voordeel zou kunnen bieden, ze waren druk. Als ik een slachtoffer was geweest hadden de meteen klaargestaan om me te helpen…..

Aanklagers staan op zenden en leren de ander een lesje en tonen geen enkele interesse om zelf ook eens les te nemen en wat te leren, ook zij denken het weten al te hebben.

Op mijn WC hangt mijn uitspraak: "The less people know, hoe meer ze denken te weten!’ Ze tonen dus geen enkele interesse meer want ze weten immers al(-).

Hier nog wat quotes over interesse:

Er zijn geen oninteressante dingen alleen ongeïnteresseerde mensen – Chesterton

If you are interested you can find plenty of interesting things to do - Walt Disney Company,,nl,People are really interested if they can talk about themselves and may - Henny Bos,,nl,"I'm an interesting man," he said, and then waited wondering if there was anything interesting happen - Henny Bos,,nl,People who have no interests are often uninteresting - Henny Bos,,nl,People who have no interests bored often and are annoying people - Henny Bos,,nl,Book The Drama Triangle,,af,published in May,,nl

De mensen zijn pas echt geïnteresseerd als ze over zichzelf kunnen en mogen praten – Henny Bos

‘Ik ben een interessante man’ zei hij en wachtte toen af of er iets interessants ging gebeuren – Henny Bos

Mensen die geen interesses hebben zijn vaak oninteressant – Henny Bos

Mensen die geen interesses hebben vervelen zich vaak en dat zijn vervelende mensen – Henny Bos

Bron: Boek De Dramadriehoek – Henny Bos (verschijnt mei 2013)

Schaduwwerk

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The players in the drama triangle supplant their downsides, thus having power over them. Anything you're not aware of you has power over you, there you will be the slave and victim without knowing it. Awareness can liberate you only.

Pia Mellody zei: ‘You have to hug your demons or they will bite you in the ass!’. Very nice. Tsultrim Allione also speaks well for your demons and you agree to reconcile, they wrote the book: "Free your demons'.

Jung zei: "We are not illuminated by proposing our light figures but we are aware of our dark side '. Patrick Carnes also talks about shadow work. In the shade of the diamond and gold.

We often do not have the courage to face our demon and project it onto others or rather beyond us as an entity. Then we think we are rid of it, but the opposite is true.

Gurdjieff said that we need to reconcile God and the devil in us. Very nice is that. No more duality by identifying good and bad, but unit. Not either / or but both / and.

If you recognize that you are a victim is the first major step toward liberation. Come out of the denial. As long as an alcoholic denies he has his alcoholism stay in that position and even increase it. Recognition and seeing is a prerequisite for recovery and rescue.

Liz Greene says the paradox is that the nature of the container is a shadow of darkness, but also the beacon towards the light.

Our shadow can open bury potential for us, things we have repressed than we can raise awareness and then we have control over and we can use it for the benefit of ourselves.

Shadow Work ascertain what irritates and annoys in / on the other and then come to see that it is an aspect of yourself that you have not wanted to see. The Work van Byron Katie(See article) is useful.

If you are not aware of your own shadow and negative sides you become the victim of the negative aspects of the other person you will not see and which you do not have an internal warning, which is continuous in the drama triangle and then we give each other the blame.

Often we are our own worst enemy without knowing it. "He who does not recognize his own faults is his own worst enemy," a statement. Mary J. Blige sings in 'No more drama': ‘The enemy was me!"And found out that she had been her own enemy.

If you conquer your shadow, you see that nothing human is alien and you project your not. Depending on the circumstances, you could be a thief or murderer. Because you are aware of it, you are especially alert to be not and you can eea. control

We all know the story of the man which uitmoorde his family and then committed suicide, when one of the neighbors and family about the man questioned they said that it had always been such a quiet man who never hurt(-). Such a man represses his shadow and anger and becomes a volcano which suddenly burst may come and then it's too late…

Jung said that we should be thankful for our enemies, because their darkness and the shadow side able to escape to me of myself. The Bible also says not for nothing that you should love your enemy.

Enemies draw your attention to your weaknesses because there they drop you at which you can be aware of which side and what you can do

My friend Will says he's doing things he is afraid and that usually that bad and he builds more and more confidence in. Often we are afraid of our shadow side but even more afraid of the light within us.

Said a Chinese requirement: "It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness". Fight against your shadow, against the darkness does not make sense and strengthens only, you must turn on the light it is obscure no more, and that light is the light of your consciousness,

Dispels the darkness never see the light , but the light dispels the darkness forever.

Embrace both light and dark, make no distinction, no duality, not an either / or thinking, accept is better. One day also includes a day and a night of light and dark and so it is good.

Adjust the voice dialogue technology and ask your dark sides what they want from you, what they think they do for you, how to protect your mind and then say that you yourself from they will accept with gratitude for their effort.

The darkness is only the absence of light, so be there and the light will shine. Wayne Dyer zei: 'Do not Die with your music still in you'. From you, refrain from expression of which leads to depression and that is the darkness at the top.

In the darkness everything is black / white and if you think that denotes the darkness. Frank Sinatra sings very nicely: "Do not think black, do not think white, but with all the color of your heart ".

I found some interesting quotes about the shadows and demons that I'll follow here:

‘If you don’t have any shadow you’re not in the light – Lady Gaga

"Character is a tree and reputation is its shadow, we think we are the shadow where the tree is the real - Abraham Lincoln

‘You can only come in the morning through the shadow’ – J.R.R. Tolkien

"Thoughts are the shadows of my feelings, always darker, army and simpler - Nietzsche

"I do not need a friend who changes when I change, who nods when I nod, my shadow does that much better "- Plutarch

"Most of the shadows caused in life because we are our sunshine in the way - Emerson

"The eyes are always caught by the light, but shadows have more to say "- Gregory Maguire

‘If I got rid of my demons, I’d lose my angels’ – Tennessee Williams

‘In the very depths of Hell do not demons love one another? – Anne Rice

‘Nothing captures human intent more than human tragedy – Dan Brown

‘Writers are the exorcist of there own demons’ – Mario Vargas Liosa

"I had to go through hell to get to know the sky, often we learn things by their opposites "- Henny Bos

Darkness can not stop the light of a small candle

I wish I, When you are lonely and in darkness, You astonishing light of your own being could show.

Knowing your own darkness is the best method to deal with the darkness of others - Jung

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to others - Mark Twain

Alone in the dark, you see the stars - Martin Luther King Jr..

De winnaarsdriehoek

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The winner is the triangle victim standing in his power and he dares to show his vulnerable side and he takes responsibility for his life and happiness

The savior has been loving and caring and treats the other as an equal rather than his or her schooling and to go beyond. He is now nurturing and warm

The prosecutor is the assertive that dares to say honestly what he thinks and feels without hurting others. He is blaming the "I-message" instead of the other and blaming

Brought in schedule is as follows from that:

Starting point is: 'I am okay, you're ok ', a win / win situation