Caring enough to confront

I read the book "Caring enough to confront" David Augsburger and that really appealed to me. The question is whether you care enough about someone to confront him or her with conduct prejudicial to him- or herself and his / her environment. Ie you risk a furious reaction and hassle if you confront, but you have to make if you really care about someone.

How do you confront is crucial, if you are considering doing with respect and loving it will not be as fast as an attack. The French say: 'It's the tone that makes the music'. Not just what you say, but also how you say it will be the deciding factor. Also make sure that you do not reject the person but only his behavior.

If they think you confront evil or stupid behavior on the following statement by Howard:

We have nothing to people who we just talk to the mouth, the mooipraters, we shoot anything with it on. I learned the most from people who confronted me with stupid behavior from myself. These people dared to stabbing their necks out and endure the way I uitverdedigde. I felt sometimes attacked me and even searched the counterattack.

If you have low self-esteem and codependent, as I had, can you (negative) not tolerate criticism. You feel even all nothing and then you hear also that you do not do well, which is intolerable, but also very necessary for you. I realized only later that if you never get criticism that might be a sign that you mean too much, you do not dare to express yourself, are cautious, too afraid to hurt someone(because you yourself are so hurt in the past).

In a relationship you can not continue to keep up appearances and confront you to handle each other with each other's shadows, which is sometimes tough. This fact does not fit into your idealized self-image that you have created yourself to escape from your real self, because it could not stand you.

My friend Peter Jan likes to play the devil's advocate and I confronted him with it by saying that he has a sub-personality in them that the devil lawyer called and plays. he laughed(laughter is recognized) and said frankly that though patted and thanked me for my reflection.

A colleague of mine I met in a bookstore. I confronted him with the idea that he's a very sensitive man who suppresses his feelings. He did not understand me and shrugged and walked on. A year later I find him again at the same bookstore, and he repeats the words that I said a year ago against him and said laughing:"The penny has now fallen" and thanked me. He was now in therapy and learned more about his emotional life. So it does not always go there are people who choose to be angry and to stay and do not want to learn. That's their problem, I do not make mine from…