Ego vs. Self
The ego always causes trouble and is never satisfied and never grateful.
The ego is greedy and always falls short, problems with acquiring more things. The ego competes instead of cooperating with all its problems, see further the schedule:
A narcissist as a friend?
The people who appear most charming are often narcissists. Once he has won your trust he hands out the sheets and also the pillowcases, he destroys, is a wrecker.
Such a 'friend' drugs you with good groceries and gifts and misleads you, he convinces you that he is ok, the go-ahead for him to start with abuse.
It can sometimes take many years. I have ca 3.000 people coached by phone and many were victims of narcissists. The narcissist knows how to wind everyone's fingers. Everyone tells you that your narcissistic friend is okay, that makes you insecure. Exactly the intent of the narcissist.
The codependent person mainly thinks about the needs of the narcissist and the narcissist only thinks about his own needs. This is how the sick relationship continues. It's she loves him and so does he!
Friendship with a narcissist is a fake friendship, the narcissist doesn't care at all how you are doing. He only sees you as an extension of himself and to take advantage of.
Wijzijnmind.nl comes with the following characteristics of narcissists with some additions from me.
The diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder should be made by a psychiatrist or psychologist. The disorder begins in early adulthood and is manifested by at least five of the following::
The person has an inflated sense of self-importance. For example, someone exaggerates their achievements or talent and expects to be treated as superior, even if the performance does not give reason to do so.
The person is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, power, genius, beauty or ideal love.
The person sees themselves as unique or “very special”. The person expects to be understood only by, or hearing about other very special people or people (or settings) with a high status.
The person craves extreme admiration.
The person has a sense of having special rights. This means that a person has an unreasonable expectation of exceptionally benevolent treatment of others. Or someone expects someone else to automatically go along with his or her expectations.
The person takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own goals.
The person has a lack of empathy; he or she is unwilling to acknowledge or empathize with the feelings and needs of others.
The person is often jealous of others or thinks that others are jealous of him or her.
The person is arrogant or shows haughty behavior.
The person lies and cheats
The person gaslights to make you insecure, says he said things to you that he didn't say at all. Or that you said things you never said!
The person can not take criticism then he becomes very fierce and angry
mindlercare.com comes with types of narcissism
Types of narcissism
Nice and charming from the outside, but deep inside scared, furious or even aggressive. A narcissist is someone with two faces. Narcissistic personality disorder distinguishes between two different types: Overt narcissism and covert narcissism. Both overt narcissists and covert narcissists expect better treatment than others. They feel superior and that usually comes at the expense of others. So where exactly is the difference?? Let's zoom in on each type:
overt narcissism (grandiose narcissism)
Arrogance is not strange to an open narcissist, And he's not ashamed to say it at all. Moreover, he is not afraid to seek confrontation. They are bursting with confidence and ambition.
In an overt narcissist lies the narcissistic, often demanding, behavior on the surface. It is clearly visible to the outside world. But because the overt narcissist also has a lot of charm, he is not addressed about it in the first place.
hidden narcissism
A covert narcissist is much harder to spot. It is someone who appears charming and friendly to the outside world, but once home can suddenly turn like a leaf on a tree.
That mask they put on for the outside world is very important for a hidden narcissist. He will do everything he can to be liked. Want, that's what he thinks, that's the way to get recognition and appreciation. And that is very important for a narcissist. This is also why a covert narcissist often has friends who do less than they do in certain areas. at least, that's what the narcissist thinks. He can now take care of the other like a hero and is therefore found sympathetic.
With a covert narcissist, they seem to show empathetic behavior when someone is in trouble or in pain, but that's just a farce. They pretend. Inside, covert narcissists are selfish and calculating – just like overt narcissists.
Bron: Boek: quips (Friendship) – Henny Bos 2022