Inner child – introductie

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Introduction

Then I discovered a lot of the problems, that I experience as an adult, originate in childhood, my interest in my inner child was aroused.
It was quite a task to re-establish a relationship of trust with my inner child. However, I succeeded and it showed, the solution of many problems.

Many people neglect their inner child, and are therefore too serious, serious, rational, etc. They lack the playfulness, creativiteit, spontaneity and the learning capacity of their inner child.

I am talking about inner child, but realize there could be more, this is also the focus of this special book. You can depend on your sub-personalities, I call that Intradependancy.

If your inner child is not allowed to participate in your life, it will boycott you and cause you misery. As long as you are not aware of your inner child, don't you understand why you're having problems.

The inner child should not take over, when that happens, your life will go wrong. Jeru Kabal described in his "Clarity process", that we are still like the four year old.

The cover also shows a snail and it is always at home, so you may also come home to yourSelf. The anagram of snail is class and this book is also an interesting and inspiring class, where you can learn a lot, that can enrich your life.

I have dozens of books about inner child, inner child and inner child studied, to read me in and avoid, that I reinvent the wheel.
I integrated much of what I read into my life and that led to liberation. You then discover the magisterial and Divine within you. Because you are the world and complete, everything is in you, nothing human is foreign to you.

"You teach what you want to learn" is an expression. To really understand something about my inner child, I had to write a book about it and start teaching it. This gives you a bird's eye view and you stand above the fabric.

You can read the articles in this book, read in random order, what suits you best and what interests you.

This book not only provides "nice to know" information, but also "need to know" information. It is a "must read" for anyone who wants to get to their True Self, the love is, and your inner child knows that!.

www.hennybos.com
hennybos@xs4all.nl

Displace

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Displace

If you don't want to see your own shadow and push it into your subconscious, then your environment will mirror that shadow and you will blame that environment, that which controls and dominates you. In reality, you do it yourself.

"As long as we deny and repress our dark side, it will control our lives in the form of drama and failed relationships "
Most people spend 95% van hun tijd aan drama, that controls them.

Jung: "As long as we don't make the unconscious conscious it will control our life and we call it fate and drama".

What we repress and don't want to see, will come to us in a negative sense. We'll just dismiss it as bad luck or coincidence.

What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size

If you don't want to and push it away, then you already have it!

If you just want to be the right one, and supplant your shadow side, will your environment, you often unconsciously, confront the evil and bad that you deny in yourself.
Nietzsche zei: "Beware of the" good guys ", because it is the most poisonous flies that sting ".

Confront someone who will only care about himself, love and light only find once with its dark side, which he represses. He will get mad at you, that you take him out of his illusion, he just wants confirmation.

What we often falsely repress and ignore is Self-compassion. Here is an article on Self-Compassion:

So let Self-compassion control your life in addition to love, respect and understanding. Let those values ​​take control and you will be happy!

Zelfcompassie

The beauty of self-compassion is not that negative feelings are replaced by positive ones, but that new positive feelings arise from the negative ones (Emotions) to embrace. In addition to our painful feelings, we experience positive feelings of caring and belonging. When we have compassion for ourselves, sunshine and shadow are experienced at the same time.
Kristin Neff PhD

“We can only heal from suffering when we experience it fully.”
Marcel Proust

Care or control?

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Care or control?

I once had a consultation with a middle-aged couple. The couple started to argue in front of me. The man - clearly upset - turned to me and said: See what is happening? I care about her so much and this is what I get in return. ” To which his wife reacted furiously: “He doesn't care about me at all. He just wants to check on me!”
The husband's care was seen by his wife as controlling.

This incident got me thinking. What is caring and what is control? And how do you make the distinction? The answer became clear to me during an argument with my teenage daughter about an everyday parenting issue. Hard words had fallen back and forth, and we were both in tears.

A while later, when the emotions had subsided, we apologized to each other. My daughter hugged me and said: “Papa, do you know why you were upset? You weren't mad because I was doing it wrong, but you were angry because I did not take your advice. That's a big difference!”

I was amazed at her mature thinking; she had unknowingly answered my question. Under the guise of concern, I had tried to restrain her. That had been the cause of the conflict.


When I really care about someone, I will not get angry with that person. I will keep looking for different ways to help them.

When I'm struggling in a relationship I need to keep a close eye on subtle control hidden behind my apparent concern . Caring is an expression of love, while control is an expression of the ego.

Control removed. Care connects.

Control hurts. Care heals.

Keep taking care of people, but don't control them.

People are usually not wrong, they are just "different".

Keep worried… 😊

Larra Shah on Facebook, translated by Leontine van Mourik

Shadow work

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Shadow work
We get to know things through their opposite. So if we want to know the light we have to look to the dark for the shadow. Karin Bloemen said: "I only knew what light was, when it was turned off by you ". Jung zei: "We are not illuminated by proposing our light statures, but by becoming aware of our dark side ". Either the dark side.
Shadow sides often arose in our youth, then 9 of the 10 messages were negative, we push that into our subconscious, that is 10 times stronger than our conscious.
So without being aware of it, we allow ourselves to be led and suffer by fear, woede, hebzucht, wants to power, enmity with yourself, codependentie, selfishness and other negative and harmful states of mind.
Know that what irritates and annoys you and what you dislike in the other says a lot about your unconscious dark side!
I am certified in Shadow work and can help you turn the subconscious into conscious and fear, woede, etc with Love!
In about a year and a half 2.000 coached people over the phone and discovered that most unconsciously let fear and other negative moods lead and suffer, dus…..
Any part that we deny in ourselves, turns against us. We also tend to see our dark side in others, so projection.
The book Owning your own self by Robert Johnson is recommended.
The book Bringing your shadow out of the dark by Robert A Masters is also very good.
Udemy has good video courses on Shadow work.
Jung zei: "I'd rather be whole than good". Whole means embracing both day and night, both the light and the dark. Instead of wanting to be "good" hypocritically. Nietzsche zei: "Beware of the" good guys "because they are the most poisonous flies that sting". And there he has a point. When you confront such a "good one" with his dark side, so with truth, he will become furious and counterattack! Because you disturb his illusion of only being good!
Be the necessary devil for one, and a loving angel for the other, then you are whole and perfectly imperfect.

What people call normal is the result of projection, introjection, split, denial, angst, wants to power, repression and other destructive actions.
That is what I think is, because we do not want to see our shadow side and push it to our subconscious that is 10 times stronger than our conscious one. So we don't know what we're doing, as Jesus said on the cross: “Lord forgive them, for they know not what they do!

Once you accept the presence of your shadow, space is created for inner peace – Tsultrim Allione in Free Your Demons / Feeding your demons

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

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DGT Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
Dialectic is the thesis antithesis and synthesis. It is the golden mean of the Buddha. The loving reconciliation of the opposites. 24 hours is the synthesis of day and night. Our dark side is also important. Jung said we are not enlightened by imagining luminaries, but by becoming aware of our dark side!

Precisely through the opposites we get to know things. I learned joy when I experienced deep sorrow. The synthesis was happiness / art
DGT is mainly used in borderline and autism but in my opinion it is more widely applicable and usable.

The focus in DGT is mainly on:
-mindfulness
-pain / sadness tolerance **, No pain, no gain
-emotional regulation / stress management
-interpersonal effectiveness

**The following poem by Nisargadatta illustrates this beautifully, here again the dialectic:
Between the banks of pain and pleasure, stroomt de rivier van het leven.
“Only when beaches think and feel 1 from the banks and not go with the flow, all misery arises ”.

Many people are stranded on the bank of pleasure, so there will be or there will be misery.
If you want fun, are you not having a good time and chances are that you are an enemy of yourself. DGT can also help here. In combination with CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

I am also a certified DGT and CBT coach / counselor

DGT says we 3 have minds:
-1- Rational / logical mind
-2- Emotional mind
-3- In my opinion, wisdom mind is also Love mind. Where there is wisdom, there is also love and vice versa!

Abraxas is the synthesis of the thesis that is the Christian God and the devil, Abraxas takes in those two opposites. Op 16 I read about Abraxas in Hesse and confronted the pastor with it, he didn't want to hear about it.

Love is the thesis, fear is the antithesis and the synthesis is unconditional love, Divine Love.

The Yin / Yang symbol is also the reconciliation of the opposites 1 symbol, with the addition that the light is always a bit dark and in the dark always some light. Betty Ford did a lot of shadow work, I also learned a lot from it.

DGT is the therapy of acceptance and not judgment. My aphorism is: "Acceptance is the key to transformation". So I recognized a lot in the course.