Vragen en tips

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Assertive questions

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Assertieve communicatie

Duke Robinson writes in his book 'Too nice for your own good' about assertive communication. He gives the following example and also examples of what not to do.

Assertive:

"I would like it if you hold me for a while", of

"Would you hold me for a minute?"?’

 

Do not:

"I shouldn't have to ask you to hold me" (negative)

"Why don't you just hold me?!’ (negative and indirect)

"You should hold me in times like these" (moralistic)

“Loving people hold onto the one they love in times like these” (indirect and manipulative)

 

I'll add myself:

Do not:

"You never even hold me" (reproachfully, indirectly)

"Hold me right now!!’ (claiming, compelling)

"I saw someone holding their partner and that made me jealous because I don't have one" (indirectly, manipulatief)

"Take off your coat and comb your hair before you hold me" (controlling, claiming)

"Are you going to hold me because you want something from me?’ (suspicious, paranoia)

"If you hold me now, I will cook for you" (do business, bribe)

"If you don't hold me now I won't sleep with you tonight" (blackmail)

'A man walked into the market with a sign 'free hugs' I didn't even have to ask for it, always with you" (reproachfully)

"I want you to hold me now or I'm going to cry and scream" (playing victim, manipulative, threatening)

 

 

Salami sandwich special

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Dit broodje heb ik zelf bedacht en is heel eenvoudig en erg smakelijk, Je neemt een kadetje besmeert het met becel en legt er flink wat plakken salami op, dan wat augurken en je maakt het af met wat mosterd en dan smullen.

Broodje Elly

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Het broodje dat ik hier beschrijf is bedacht door m’n lieve en creatieve vriendin en partner Elly. Je neemt een boterham en besmeert dat met kruidenboter en legt er een plakje kaas op dan wat brie en dan wat dunne ringen van prei, bestrooi het met wat paprikapoeder en dan ca.5 minuten in de oven en smullen maar!

How should I change?

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How should I change?

This question is frequently asked to me by people who have to include with their codependency camps. My answer to this question is very paradoxical fact that you can only change if you first accept yourself completely with all your weak, negative, bad and bad sides.

For the rest of this interesting article see codependency network, You can find the link here right, many read- and learning fun!