Sereniteit

/by


Serenity is a challenge for me, I'll often strongly influence me by others who can make me happy or sad, I also am sensitive to praise and blame, what with serenity is not the case.

If you take in serene thanks compliment but it does not do anything with your self-esteem, could simply be an intrinsic value

Here serenity follows:

I ask God:

the serenity to accept what can not be changed

the courage to change what can be changed

and the wisdom to tell the difference to note between them.

Serene does not mean you about anything attracts you just summarize the things personally and see things not as an attack on your person, but as an expression of another, where he himself is responsible for and which you have not to interfere. Do not interfere say Americans. Mind your own business, it is their karma.

At Serenity you are in a good balance, you are walking the middle way of the Buddha, Do not think negatively and thesis, not positive as antithesis but as synthesis, right thinking from the eightfold path of the Buddha…For me that is a thought that says: "What would love do in this case?!’. Love is God in action, then you do the will of God. St.Augustinus gods: "Do not want to love and do what you '.

Serene is, you know what the other person says about you is often a projection and not a pure and clear perception. What Peter says about Paul says more about Peter than about Paul.

If you see the flaw in the other, worse you're not there when you are serene but think first of your own imperfection and work there or accept you.

Self-acceptance is a key word at serentiteit, and the paradox is that the more you accept yourself, the more you are open to change and change and then you notice the miraculous that your whole world around you is changing. People treated you badly or do not disappear from your life and new people come into your life who love you for who you are / will be. Once you accept yourself that attracts the acceptance by others. You will always mirrored. Je omgeving is de spiegel van jezelf. If you have once through leads to serenity and liberation and much insight into yourself, bewustwording, and that is a great gift that you give yourself.

You accepted method and will see that you are perfectly imperfect and that precisely is the fascinating and interesting life…

Pijn

/by

Pain is inevitable linked to life and we often need as a teacher. Christiane Beerlandt wrote the tome 'The keys to self-liberation "and addresses the pain and diseases that you may have and its causes which are often mentally, They also give tips what to do about it.

In my life I have the pain of psychosis, depersonalization known and severe depression, to name a few. They were my greatest teachers. I had a hard head and thought all know it and had this pain need to come to understand and am grateful for afterwards. By knowing the pain you come to sit deep and you get depth, and I now know what real joy and gratitude.

Americans say "no pain, no gain’. Johannes Tauler zei:"The pains of the crisis are the pangs of God's birth in us" and as I have experienced it.

One day died the son of a woman, who went to the Buddha with the request to wake the child back to life. The Buddha said,; "Get some rice from a house where no pain and illness has been '. Hopeful went to the woman on path, but door after door, she realized that there had been anywhere pain and illness, She learned the lesson that every house has its cross and that they also had to learn about pain and did not need to suffer to make. She had put her happiness with her son, an external source, and understood that it had to come from within and they had to learn to let go and detach to be free.

We often want no pain and therefore do not know what is good for us. Nietzsche said that if our wishes come true we live in a hell soon and there is something in. Nisargadatta zei:Between the banks of pain and pleasure, the river flows, only when thinking and feeling beaches on one of the banks, and not going with the flow, creates misery "Pain is inevitable but that does not suffer. The Buddha said that life was suffering, but also pointed to the 4 Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path to get out.

Here are some quotes about pain:

Hurts to think a man, thoughts make a man wise, Wisdom makes life bearable. – John Patrick

Pijn: the yeast that raises the luck. – Jan Deloof

When we are deceived by someone, can the sadness to have been mistaken in him hurt more than the disadvantage that we are cheating causes. -C. J. Wijnaendts Francken

They breathe truth that breathe their words in pain – Shakespeare

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional – unknown

Do not consider painful what is good for you – Euripides

One word frees us from all the heaviness and pain of life , that word is love – Sophocles

No pain is felt to have not been human – Jewish proverb

Painful quotes by Peter de Kock: Experience Expert Henry Rollins about pain: ‘I used to fight the pain, but recently this became clear to me: pain is not my enemy; it is my call to greatness.’

‘I think about the meaning of pain. Pain is personal. It really belongs to the one feeling it. Probably the only thing that is your own. I like mine.’

‘Some of your best moments come when you’re the king or queen of pain. That’s when you lock yourself in your room, paint your fingernails black, turn out the lights, listen to a Cure record and write poetry.’

‘Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.’

 

 

 

 

Niveaus van communicatie

/1 Comment/by

In communicatie onderscheid ik 8 niveaus, te weten:

-1- het beleefdheidsniveau

-2- de fatische communicatie

-3- communicatie over anderen/roddel

-4- communicatie over drama

-5- communicatie over ideeën, opinies en oordelen

-6- communicatie van gevoelens

-7- metacommunicatie

-8- spirituele/essentiële communicatie

 

Ad.-1- het beleefdheidsniveau:

Dat is ‘hoe gaat het met u’ zeggen uit beleefdheid in plaats van echt geïnteresseerd te zijn, de ander voelt dit meestal ook wel aan en antwoordt dan kort met ‘goed hoor’. Ook: ‘Ik zal je binnenkort bellen’ en het dan niet doen is een beleefdheidsvorm. De beleefdheid is de meest afstandelijke vorm van communicatie

Ad.-2- de fatische communicatie:

Deze communicatie gaat nergens over, het is babbelen, praten zonder wat te zeggen. Paul Simon zingt in ‘The sound of silence’: ‘People talking without speaking, people hearing without listening’. Dan is het communiceren uit angst voor de stilte. Je hebt er niks aan het is alleen bedoeld om de tijd te doden in plaats van te leven.

Ad.-3- communicatie over anderen/roddel:

Over anderen praten is een geliefd onderwerp, dan hoef je jezelf niet bloot te geven, niet te openbaren, het is veilig om over anderen te praten wat ze gedaan hebben en nagelaten hebben en fout doen, etc. Het kan gemakkelijk roddel worden, waarin we de ander in een kwaad daglicht stellen om daardoor zelf juist goed te lijken.

Ad.-4- communicatie over drama:

Drama trekt het meeste publiek. Onderzocht is dat de meeste mensen 95% van hun tijd, dus ook communicatie, besteden aan drama en slechts 5% aan essentie en ik denk dat die 5% nog aan de hoge kant is. Een vriend zei: ‘Mijn leven is een groot drama en wat geniet ik daar toch van’. De meeste mensen beperken zich tot deze eerste 4 niveaus van communicatie.

Ad. -5- communicatie over ideeën, opinies en oordelen:

Als je met je ideeën en opinies naar voren komt is er al enigszins sprake van echte communicatie, is er informatie-uitwisseling, deel je iets van jezelf, alleen hoop je vaak dat de ander met je instemt en als dat niet zo is schakel je over op een ander onderwerp of niveau om echte diepgang te vermijden. Als je de instemming van de ander nodig hebt, ben je niet zo zeker van je zaak. Met je oordeel zondig je tegen de NIVEA-regel, ofwel Niet-Invullen-Voor-Een-Ander. Je doet dat dan wel en matigt je aan dat je kunt weten hoe de ander is…

Ad. -6- communicatie van gevoelens:

Gevoelens mededelen is een nog echtere vorm van communicatie, eerlijk durven zijn over wat je voelt en dat uiten, daar is moed voor nodig. Het brengt je meer tot elkaar, je leert elkaar er beter door kennen en hopelijk ook accepteren in plaats van afwijzen. Als je je gevoelens niet wilt voelen en er niet over praat, er geen melding van maakt is de kans groot dat je ze gaat afreageren op anderen

Ad. -7- metacommunicatie:

Dit is communicatie over de communicatie, een evaluerend gesprek over hoe de communicatie bevalt en verloopt, zie m’n artikel daarover

Ad. -8- spirituele/essentiële communicatie:

Spiritueel wordt de communicatie als je volledig open bent en eerlijk en bereid bent van jezelf, je wezen te delen en openbaren en bereid bent om echt actief te luisteren. Dat je je onthoudt van oordelen en je best doet om de ander te begrijpen. Inayat Khan zei: ‘Alles begrijpen, doet alles liefhebben’. De hoogste spirituele ervaring is de onvoorwaardelijke Liefde. God is liefde.

Bij spirituele communicatie kun je schakelen tussen alle niveaus van communicatie en ben je je daarvan bewust. Je bent in staat om gewoon even een praatje te maken voor het sociale contact en de diepgang te zoeken van de essentie, je bent flexibel

Je leert pas echt over jezelf en in de mate waarin je bereid bent om over je wezen te communiceren met anderen. Ik leerde dat in gesprekken met vrienden en de gespreksgroep Attitudinal healing. Ik leerde de formule ‘share-check-share’, ofwel deel van je wezen check dan of het veilig is en er echt geluisterd wordt en deel dan meer.

Bron: Boek ‘Communicatie’ – Henny Bos (verschijnt juni 2012)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waarom ben ik bang om jou te vertellen wie ik ben?

/2 Comments/by

I now read the 112th book on codependency, te weten:

‘Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?’ van John Powell, a great book again and I come to new insights, it is unbelievable. Hij schrijft ‘Niemand van ons wil een fraudeur, swindler or a lie life, none of us wants to be counterfeit, be an imitation or a nepper. But the fear that we experience and the risks that honest self-communication are so intense that we seek refuge in our roles, masks and games and that's a natural behavior for us'.

In short: we want to be honest but do not for fear of rejection, fear of being ridiculed and so we play our roles as codependent. Shakespeare had already discussed the fact that we all play our role on the stage of life and so it is.

The response of the codependent on demand: "Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?’ is: "Because if I tell you who I am, you will not and may reject me and I have everything I '. Lao tse zei: "If you do not take too much of others' opinions, you stay long life of their prisoner ', Lao Tse also knew of codependency.

I'm learning now to read through this at 112th book on codependency and I think I'm the only one in the Netherlands to more than 200 books on codependency and related subjects purchased, an investment of more than 3000 euro!. It's an investment in myself, where you can do your advantage. The Buddha said,: "Happiness comes when your work and words of benefit to yourself and to others," and that is what I experience.

Don Miguel Ruiz zei: "Vat nothing personally '. That's easier said than done. What others say about you is often no clean and clear perception but a positive or negative projection. Een uitspraak is: "Even contain the worst things that people say about you and truth…namely over them!’.

If you decide another mood, ben je z’n codependente slaaf en geen interdependente meester die zijn eigen intrinsieke spirituele eigenwaarde heeft.

Nee leren zeggen

/by

Of codependents are known to have difficulty saying no. they feel guilty and inadequate and selfish and that does not feel good for them.

I invited a woman, which attract many codependent, for a talk about codependency, I'll call her Carla. Carla was enthusiastic and wanted to get desperate. she calls a night for the meeting really wonder because her son asked her to pass grandchildren and she dared to say no, she denied herself as an opportunity for a step toward healing 'r codependency, she found the needs of her son more important than her own need, Also typical for codependents.

I say sometimes yes when I mean no and have afterwards regretted. No can say means that you understand that a question not a question but a requirement if you can not say no.

Krishnamurti said lighting means you no to everywhere says. That is going too far a yes to things and people you help appears in your personal growth and development to me in place. In India kennen ze neti neti, this not, not that. Is a joke:"What do they call a codependent who can say no without feeling guilty?’ . Antwoord: 'Healthy?!"Deny yourself not say yes because you're afraid that people will be mad at you or will reject you if you say no. People who can not accept his no attention not worthy.

Just look at how far you no and yes you have had in your life.

I said 14 age no to the Reformed Church, because I found a deformed church with people who think they have the only true faith and only get to heaven, not my church so. It took me a long time to free myself from the Reformed ideas.

After my crisis, I said no to my wife and wanted a divorce, one of the best decisions of my life, a liberation was.

I said yes to the broker when I saw the house where I live now. I told the broker:"Now I'm going to say something stupid in your eyes and that is that I would have it for the asking price and no small risk that it breaks off and ignores my nose '. The energy in my house is very harmonious, peaceful and loving, each house has its energy if you are willing to feel that.

Bring your no's and yes's a look at a map and see if you would like to do it again, an interesting exercise.