From conflict to caring

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I have translated and noted some quotes from this special book by Jordan and Margaret Paul and put my comments in brackets

-Feeling unhappy is always a direct result of unloving behavior(As long as you're not loving, you are estranged from your true self and let you rule by fear)

-namely protective / defensive response: -try to check, -to admit, -being indifferent lowers self-esteem(then you come to a low self-esteem that is so characteristic of codependency)

-The real basis of fear, guilt and shame is a false/false belief(Which was taught to us by our codependent educators, my mother always said:‘What will people say about it’, I suffered a lot from that and a lot of fear,felt guilt and shame)

-People often don't appreciate the truth as a gift of love(The truth will set us free, but will make us furious first and Nietzsche said:’Hoeveel waarheid kan een mens verdragen, how much truth he ventures?!. Freud zei:"Man is better than he knows", but worse than he thinks))

-One of the most common fears in codependent relationships is the fear of being wrong, to be wrong(We want 'good'’ his and again it was Nietzsche who said:'Beware of the 'good guys'’ for it is the most poisonous flies that sting.")

Codependentie versus leren

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In a codependent family you learn to protect yourself and protect against negativity coming your way, at that time is also necessary, but later works against you, because as long as you are you can not learn in the protective shielding and attitude and everything remains the same and you're afraid of the unknown, where only the known you can scare.

In fact, when you are not in a learning attitude you by definition is in a protective and defensive attitude, as many mensen.Meer is about to read the books of Jordan & Margaret Paul, which are particularly interesting and enlightening.

Het boek ‘Do I have to give up me, to be loved by you "of Paul's was one of the best books I've ever read Attn. codependentie

Lecture codependency 13-10-2011(report)

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He had 18 people came to the lecture, and many did not recognize many of the questions asked Henny, te weten:-you are always ready for another?, -dare you say no?, -lets you violate your limits?, -you want to control?, -you have low self-esteem?-your needs are not as important as that of another?, -You grew up in a family with little or no attention, erkenning, waardering, nurturing, warmth and love?, -You accept things that are not really acceptable?.

It was said under the headline: "This irritates me in other people 'write down everything bothers you. When the people were finished Henny said:"Streep now heading through and put down:"These are aspects of me that I do not want to see ', it was an eye-opener.

Els was so sweet and caring to arrange tea and coffee and it took two leaflets, also one for her sister. Everyone got an information leaflet and brochure:"An introduction to codependency".

It was all in all a successful evening

 

 

New on the site: attitudinal healing

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Starting today 13 October 2011 is er informatie op m’n site over attitudinal healing o.a.

-wat is attitudinal healing?

-the principles of attitudinal healing

-the guidelines of attitudinal healing

-literature on attitudinal healing and related topics

Lezing over codependentie

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Thursday 13 October 2011, I will give a lecture on codependency for LETS in the recreation area of ​​the Brewer Camp, Brouwer Kamp 31A Doetinchem.

The lecture starts at 19:30you and takes about an hour and will include a number of exercises for which you need a pen and paper, take that so it. Na het uur zal er een pauze zijn en is er na de pauze nog een uur beschikbaar voor het stellen en beantwoorden van vragen

Onderwerpen zullen o.a. zijn:

How did you discover your codependency

Wat irriteert/ergert je in andere mensen?

Definities

Het disfunctionele gezin en de codependentie gevolgen daarvan

Hoe was jouw gezin?

Zelfcompassie & codependentie

Roads to Recovery